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Gambit’s Catastrophe - REVIEW THIS STORY
Written by Jacque Koh Chapter 2 In the kitchen of the X-mansion ... "Here ya go, Sugah." Rogue place a bowl in front of him. #What's dat?# "It's - well, it's cat food." The black cat just stared at her. "Aw, come on Remy, ya got ta eat something. Bobby and Joseph went out to specially buy this for ya. They're sorry for laughing at ya." #Yeah right.# he sniffed at the bowl suspiciously, #The can probably reads like a riot.# "It's not ya real body, Remy. But ya still got ta feed it the proper - er - cat nutrition." #But dat's not all dis is. What else y' put in dis, chere?# "Ya promise ta eat it?" #Dat depends, chere.# The cat sat down again and stared up at her. "Well, Hank suggested it. We got ya some - er worm tablets - Ya won't taste them, I mixed it up real good." Gambit sighed as he took a tentative bite, and proceeded to lick the bowl clean. As the black cat settled down to clean itself, Rogue prepared a litter box and placed it near the back door. #Don't tell me-# "Er - well -" #I hate dis.# "Do ya need to ... " #What? Y' want t' watch?# "No! 'course not." She blushed furiously, "It's just that - ah - er need ta -" Gambit saw the truth in her mind before she could shield that thought. He bolted, but Rogue was much faster than any cat alive. #Y' can' be serious?! Chere!?# "Ah'm sorry, Remy. But ... well ... er ... " Rogue carried him out of the house apologetically. Bishop was waiting for them beside an ominous tub, into which he had briefly dipped his hand. #Chere?! Pup?! Y' can' do dis t' Gambit!?# The big man rubbed his neck awkwardly with his dry hand as they approached, the expression on his face was also deeply apologetic.
"So how is Gambit, er - adjusting to his - situation?" Scott asked Ororo as she stalked into the absent Xavier's office. "As well as he can, I suppose." She told him coldly as her eyes stared daggers across the desk. "What is it, Ororo?" "A collar?" "I had Hank make the communicator collar for him. Gambit can't carry our usual communicator - " "Yes, but a collar?!" Storm hissed from between clenched teeth, "Remy, is not a pet. In any case, he is a telepath, why does he need a communicator?" Scott scratched his head uncomfortably, "It's safer for him. At least strangers won't take him for a stray, if he happens to wander off the grounds. Gambit would hardly want to speak to them telepathically." "Scott, I would believe that Remy's already feeling bad enou-" "REMY! PUT THAT DOWN! GAMBIT!" The two X-Men rushed to the window to see what Bishop was screaming about. "REMY! JEAN! JEAN! HE'S GOING TO EAT THAT BIRD! JEAN!" Scott and Ororo exchanged looks, as Phoenix swooped passed the window to catch the black cat in her telekinetic bubble.
<Bored ... bored ... bored ... bored ...> Remy sighed as he looked through the glass of the window, <Okay, so Gambit was stalking birds, and he caught one. Not like I was going t' eat it. Bish didn't have t' call Jeannie down on me like dat.> The cat wondered past the front door and looked wistfully at the sealed cat door, <Dey didn't have t' confine me t' de house.> The cat moved on and stopped at the stairs to scratch itself, <Stupid collar. Yeah right, it's pretty t' see a red collar on a black cat. Whoopee. Wish it didn't itch so much.> He shook his head and looked up the stairs for a moment, <Non, Stormy be mad if Remy go up an' eat one o' her ferns again.> <Now dat I couldn't help. Wasn't like I really meant t' eat her fern. It ... jus happened.> Remy entered the rec room and leaped on to the sofa, <I hate dis.> <Bored ... bored ... bored ... bored ...> He found a loose thread on the sofa. <Merde, what do cats do f' entertainment? Not like I c'n watch TV, or work out in de Danger Room. Bored ... bored ... bored ... bored ...> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... <Don't see why it's so difficult f' Jeannie t' use Cerebro t' find Gambit's body.> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... <What is Sinister doing t' y' body now, Remy?> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... <Y' t'ink y' body's still alive?> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... <Well de homme did say once, Gambit more valuable t' him alive dan dead.> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... <Never really gave it dat much thought. Gambit, jus' wanted t' stay out o' his lab.> Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Remy didn't look up when Rogue entered the room. He sensed her, as she pause at the door for a moment before coming to kneel on the floor beside him. Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... "Er ... Remy?" Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... #Yeah, chere?# Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... "Are ya all right, Remy?" Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... #Oui. 'm just peachy.# Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... "Remy ... Sugah, ah think ya should stop." Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... #Huh? Stop what?# Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... Scratch ... "Er ... the sofa, Remy?" Scratch ... Scratch ... Scra- #MERDE!# Remy leaped to his feet as he stared at the gaping hole in front of him. #I ... I ... Merde! What? I wasn't - I didn't - I - did?# They heard the footsteps of someone approaching the rec room. Rogue snatched him up in her arms and ran for it. "We'd better scat, Sugah. It'll fit our luck that that will be Scottie." True enough, Scott's bellow reverberated in the mansion as Rogue exited the back door and took to the air. "GAMBIT!!!"
"Scott, you are NOT going to de-claw Gambit." Storm announced firmly before she took her seat in the briefing room. "Did you see what-" "Remy's been under a lot of strain, if you haven't noticed. He's stuck in the body of a neutered cat. You've fed him worm tablets. You had him bathed and flea dipped. You've made him wear that collar ... barred him from the roof ... locked him in the house ... I will not let you touch him." "Storm, it won't hurt him. He's just borrowing the body." "No." "It'll save the furniture- " "No!" "He won't feel a thing." "NO!" "Scott, Remy's always used the scratching post I bought for him. It isn't as if you caught him sharpening his claws on the sofa." "I don't think Remy realized what he was doing, until it was brought to his attention." Jean tried to ease the tension between her husband and her friend, "Remy must have been bored out of his skull. He wouldn't intentionally tear up the sofa." Storm threw a grateful look at Joseph and Jean, before she turned back to Scott. "Scott, we have to get Remy's body back. That is the only acceptable solution to Remy's condition. He, is not responsible for his current state of mind." Scott took a deep breath, "If we can find Sinister. Even then, how are we sure we can get Gambit's body back?" "Sinister's gonna clone a body for Gumbo, if we can't get the original back." "Where are Rogue and Gambit anyway." "They're probably hiding until your temper's back under control. I know some places Rogue might go. If you want, I could go look for them." "Maybe later, Joseph." "All right, Bobby and I need to go shopping again anyway." "For what?" "Cat toys. We don't know how permanent this will be, and Remy's going to need them if we want our furniture to stay intact." "I think you mean, 'to keep Scott from strangling him first.'"
"Feeling better, Sugah?" Rogue looked down at the cat which was curled on her lap. #I can't go on like dis, chere. Am I a cat? Or am I a man? No ... don't answer dat.# "We'll find ya body, Remy." Rogue stroked him, "It'll be all right." After a moment, Gambit leaped off Rogue's lap and started to wander away from her. "Remy?" #I jus' need t' stretch my legs a moment, chere.# "Don't wander off too far, sugah. We should be getting back soon." #Okay, chere.# Remy walked out of sight for a moment to be alone with his thoughts. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to remember his identity. And it was starting to show, first with the fern, then lately when he had taken to leaping on the laps of the X-Women to be scratched and cuddled, ... and the sofa. <I gotta find my body, somehow.> His mind was too preoccupied to register his kinetic senses screaming at him, until it was too late. A black cloth fell over him. "Got you." The voice was unmistakable. #ROGUE!#
Bobby and Joseph were laying out various cat toys while Bishop watched in mild interest. "Are you sure Gambit will be appreciative of this?" Bishop picked up an obviously fake mouse by the tail. "He'll love it. It's full of catnip." "That's not what I meant. I'm sure this will all be fine for a real cat, but Remy?" "We have to keep Remy alive first, Bishop. A feat, I'm sure will be a challenge, if he continues to infuriate Scott. This will at least occupy him in less dangerous activity." "It's perfectly all right for a cat to be sleeping on Jean's lap." "Bobby, we are talking about Remy. Scott wasn't amused. And Jean was feeling guilty for enticing him over with a scratch." "Scott's a dog person, that's all there is to it. Can you believe that he's actually jealous of a cat?" "It doesn't make it any easier on Scott's nerves, that all the ladies have taken to mothering that cat." "But Remy, isn't appreciative of that kind of attention." Bishop protested, "He doesn't like being treated like a cat." "Until we recover his body, he's going to have to cope." A general alarm sounded from their communicators. "All X-Men meet in the briefing room in five minutes." Scott's voice piped from the compact instrument, "Someone's kidnapped our cat." |
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