Days of Future PEZent - REVIEW THIS STORY

Written by RV Bemis
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 3

Gambit awoke to the warm smell of food roasting over a fire. He sat in what appeared to be a cot, his head hurting and his toes numb. "Dang, how did I get in here? Seems like it was ten minutes ago I was freezin' in de snow, now..." Gambit turned to the firelight, to see a short, bald-headed

guy that did not look unlike Professor Xavier. "Smells good mon ami, what you be roastin?"

The bald guy looked at Gambit, and calmly said "Soylent Green."

"Never heard of it, what's it made of?"

"Trust me, in your weakened state, you don't want to know. What you need is protein, Soylent Green has plenty of it."

Gambit looked around the makeshift cabin. He noticed Landscape's costume over by the table near a sink. "Guess Brett must be 'round here, too," he thought to himself. He then turned back to the man.

"Why you save me mon ami?"

"Had nothing better to do. I was studying the hole in the ozone layer, and I saw explosions from the direction where you were lying." Figured I would bring you and anyone else I saw in for... dinner..." The man continued cooking, turned back and said, "Would you care for some?"

"Sure ting, I could use some food 'bout now."

Storm took off from the mansion, intent on finding if Remy was alive or not. "May the bright lady give me luck in finding my lost friend."

Young Sam Guthie noticed Storm leaving. "Gawly," he said, "Looks like Miss Storm is taking off like something fierce. Better see what she is up to."

Sam took to the air in blaster mode, and caught up to Storm.

"Heya Miss Storm. Whatcha doin' flyin' around at this time of the night?"

"I am off to go get Remy from Antarctica. I have need of him now."

"Pardon my asking, ma'am, but should't you have gotten Gambit about two weeks ago if you was gonna talk to him? I mean, for some reason I haven't been very smart lately, but I've heard that Antarctica gets purty cold."

"Hopefully he is only frozen in suspended animation, like Walt Disney, or like Michael Jackson when he sleeps at night."

"Can I come with you Miss Storm? That Marrow keeps flashing her boobs at me, and it's makin' me feel downright uncomfortable. I think she gots a jones for me."

"Fine Sam, you may join me. The heat from your blasting may prove invaluable in the cold of Antarctica."

"WOOOOOWIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! This is gonna be better then a shindig in the backyard barn during harvest season!!!"

Joseph walked into Rogue's room. "I know she's upset about Gambit," he thought to himself," I love her so much, that I would do anything to make her happy again. Even bring that Cajun' cad back here. Of course, I'm too busy whining about not knowing who I am and being manipulated by some unseen force to go get Gambit."

"Joseph! don't you ever knock before entering?!?" There Rogue was standing, buck naked in front of the mirror.

Joseph tried to respond, but the sight of a naked Rogue was too much for his fragile psyche to bear. "Hubba gabba hubba dubba yabba dabba doo bubba humminah humminah humminah humminah," was all he could stammer out before his mind gave out, and he died, right in front of Rogue.

"Oh no! First Remy! Now Joseph! Why does this keep happening? Why do ah keep causing the obligatory loss in the X-Men? I am such a freak! Ah... ah... god help me..." and she broke into tears.

"Dat was pretty good, what is dis made of?" Gambit was enjoying his hearty meal of Soylent Green, he could feel strength and vitality flow through him."

"You don't want to know, it's... what the HELL was THAT?!?!?" A loud crash had happened over his head.

"Golly Miss Storm, looks like Gambit is down in there!"

"Remy!!! You are alive!!! Thank the Goddess!!!"

"Took you damn long enough Stormy. Why you not come sooner? I saved your life 'gainst the Phalanx, it was your turn!" Gambit, though, was releived to see his friend. "You two hungry. Plenty of Soylent Green for ya'll."

"Remy? Did you not ever see the Charlton Heston movie called 'Soylent Green'?"

"No, chere, can't say I have."

"Well, if you truly have been eating Soylent Green, I guess it best not to tell you the main ingredient of it."

"Stormy, tell me. I survived de assassins, de Phalanx, Magneto, dat stinkin' trial, this bad excuse for a fanfic, I tink I can handle a lousy ingredient."

"I shall whisper it to you my friend, so that young Sam does not find out." Storm whispered what it was made oif into the Cajun's ear.

"No... Stormy! You must tell dem all. Tell dem de truth about Soylent Green... it's people! SOYLENT GREEN is PEOPLE! Well... so is most Gumbo recipes, so all in all, but, for de sake of de clice... SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!"

"Now my friend, we must return to the X-Mansion, we have things to discuss." Gambit thanked the man, after ralphing up a few times of course, and the three went back to Westchester.

"Pretty-pretty traitor is coming back." Marrow picked her teeth with a piece of a tibia. "I must be sure he is welcomed properly..."