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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19


Written by Courtney
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 19

Day 1554

You have no idea what it was like to wake up next to Remy. We had camped out on the floor in a heap of pillows and comforters. I haven't slept with him in like three years. I forgot how much I missed it.

I woke up before him at seven and just kind of watched him until he stirred awake about twenty minutes later. It was kind of like one of those romantic movies where the girl finally did it with the guy she's been fawning over for years and the next morning all she can think about is how the sun coming in from the window is hitting and glorifying his perfect features… Oh my Gosh… I did not just make that comparison…


Remy blinked as the sunbeams stretched across the lengths of the room. Instantly he shielded his eyes. "Oh!" he heard Rogue gasp as she got up and drew the curtains. "Ah fohgot about that."

"No harm, pt'tite," he smiled lazily. "How long y' been up?"

"Not too long. Ah'm assumin' breakfast'll be ready soon."

Remy nodded and then his face registered what day it was. "Merde, I got dat test t'day."

"You'll do great," she insisted. "You've studied yoah butt off an' then some."

"T'ank you, cherie. I c'n always count on y' f'r an' ego boost."

"That's what Ah'm here foh, silly."

Remy sat up and stretched out his just-waking muscles. "Dat y' are." He cracked his neck and groaned. "Dat's better. Anyone stop by t' see why I wasn' in m'room?"

"No one that Ah know of."

"Good t' hear." He stood up and stretched some more. "I should get goin', just incase dey haven' bot'ered t' check at all."

"Oh… all raht. Thanks foh humorin' me last night."

He pulled off his long-sleeved T-shirt that he'd worn specifically for Rogue to reveal a white wife-beater underneath. "Chere, dere's not'in' better den stayin' up till three t' watch Disney movies."

She grinned. "Still. Thank you."

"Don' mention it." He bent down and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head through her hair. "I'll see y' at breakfast."

"Mm-hmm," she hummed. "See ya."


He kissed me. It was nothing overly spectacular, just like a way of showing he cared. It took me by surprise, though. I can't remember him ever doing that. I was so speechless. Incredibly. This isn't good. I shouldn't be feeling things like this. It's Remy! Sweet, kind and… erm, hot Remy. No! I'm just setting myself up for more hurt if I pull crap like this now. Especially since he went out with Sarah tonight.


"Hey, Remy," Rogue said, sitting down next to him in the TV room.

"Hey! Guess what?" He was grinning ear to ear.

"Judgin' by yoah perked up attitude… ya passed the test?"

"Wit' flyin' colors!"

"That's great! We should go out an' celebrate."

"Y' want t' go out? As in… off grounds?"

"Yeah," she giggled. "You'll be with me so Ah'll be fine."

His smile faded. "I tol' Sarah I'd take her out f'r some pizza as t'anks…"


"But we'll go out aft'rwards. We can go see a movie."

"Ah guess… what time will ya be home?"

"No later den seven. Dey'll let us stay out a bit. It's a Friday."


"Y' choose the movie an' mooch de money off one of de teachers."

"Sounds like a plan," she giggled. "Ah think Ah'll go take a nap. Mah four hours of sleep is finally gettin' ta me."

"All right, p'tite. Y' want me t' wake u' up b'fore I leave?"

She nodded as she stood up. "That'd be nice." She'd glanced at the clock on the TV stand. "So… about three-four hours then?"

"Dat gon' be enough?"

"Should be. How are you functionin' on four hours of sleep?"

He shrugged. "I never slept long when I lived on de streets. Guess I'm jus' used t' it here an' dere."

Rogue leaned against the doorjamb, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Ah just realized that neither of us have talked about the South in so long."

"Hmm… y' right. Dat jus' kinda slipped."

"Ah like hearin' stories about the streets. Makes ya seem so much more rugged an' stuff," she smiled.

"Logan told me before dat I don' know merde 'bout anyt'in'."

"Well, Logan can kiss mah lily white butt."

Remy chuckled. "Dat would be interestin' t' watch."

"That's disgustin'!" She cried out laughing. "Ugh, ya're gettin' these images in mah head. Ah'm leavin' now."

He smirked. "G'night, chere."

"More like good afternoon."

"Don' be technical an' just go t' sleep."

She laughed. "Fine, Ah will. See ya."


I know I told him it would be all right if he still saw Sarah… but it's still weird as hell. I don't know what I'm feeling at all. Like… am I actually falling for Remy? That's ridiculous. I mean, it's Remy, no doubt about it. It just seems wrong to have these feelings - if they're actual feelings - about him. I want to say that he's been like a brother for all this time, but it's not like that though. He's my best friend in the whole world. He swore to protect me forever. I guess that kind of promise allows for something like this.

Dammit… why does he need to be going out with Sarah tonight? I wish I could touch her and see what she really wants from him. Logan told me it's just sex. Hell, I know it's just sex. I've touched him, I know.

…Sarah gets to touch him without hurting him. That's why this all seems so silly. It never used to matter before about whether I could touch someone without stealing a part of them when I pulled away, but now it does. In the highly unlikely situation of my over-imaginative mind that Remy would ever feel for me like I think I do for him… how would I touch him? I would never make him happy like Sarah can make him happy.

I wonder if I'll be untouchable forever.


"Wake up, sleepy head," Remy cooed as he pushed open Rogue's door.

"Five more minutes," she mumbled from the floor. She hadn't bothered to clean up from the night before. Pillows and blankets surrounded her, all cradling her body warmly.

"Y' look so cute wrapped up like a bug," he whispered as he knelt down beside her.

She picked her head off her pillow and was met with laughter from Remy. A quick glance to the mirror told her that she had hair sticking everywhere. "Quiet," she muttered with a smirk while she smoothed it down. "Are ya leavin' now?"

"Oui. Y' okay wit' dis?"

"O' course Ah am. Why shouldn't you be able ta go out with yoah friends. Ah was thinkin' of hangin' out with Jono foh a bit."


"Yeah. Have you ever talked to him? He's really nice an' his power is just so cool. Ah'm hopin' that he can teach me how ta use it."

"Oh… alright. Wait, he's de kid who came from London a couple months ago?" She nodded. Remy knew him all right. He was the new kid who was sweeping girls off their feet with his 'cute' little accent and the whole 'missing most of his front upper body' thing. The fact that he was sort of a spook didn't make Remy feel better either. Did he want Rogue talking to this guy? "Well… as long as y' have somet'in' t' do. I won' be long."

She grinned. "Ah'll look up the movie an' everythin' like we talked about." She pulled herself out of the mass of blankets and walked over to her closet and pulled out a green zip-up hoodie. "Go on an' have a good time. Ah need ta get cleaned up."

"Right. I'll see ya in a few hours."

She nodded, holding back from biting her bottom lip. "Ah'll see ya when ya get back."


I haven't gotten around to checking the movie times nor asking anyone for money. I did call Kurt though to see how his classes are and if he was coming home this weekend. He said he was. I'm really excited about seeing him. He said he'd be home tomorrow around noon. I'm hoping him and me will just be able to go out as the two of us. I think spacing myself from Remy right now would be a good thing as I try to figure out my head.

Heh, you know what I'll never get used to? Kurt in his holographic form. He looks completely different. I've been looking at that image for the last four years at times and every time he pops around a corner if he's going out to church or to class I'm like "Who are you?" He's scared me several times by just teleporting in whatever room I am like right in front of my face. Whatever keeps him happy.

I never did go talk to Jono. He went out with Monet and Alison to somewhere or another, I don't really know. Maybe the karoke club again, since Alison is so big about her singing.

So here I am, underneath my tree that I love to write under. It's right where the estate grounds meet the forest. I give myself a lot of credit for venturing out this far.

It's cold sitting here. It snowed this morning, and Ororo wasn't here to stop it. She hates the snow. She loves heat as much as I do, but something about the snow is really peaceful. Like if I look up, I can see my footsteps leading to here marring the perfect blanket of white. I feel bad that I did that… but then that's just stupid. Like I could help it.



Rogue looked up from her journal a moment to stare out into the darkness of the forest. The sun was just beginning to fall behind the trees, turning the sky beautiful shades of pink and purple. What rustled her out of her writing fit was the noise she heard. She didn't feel any air moving, so that ruled out what made the noise. Could it have been an animal? But then again… weren't they all hibernating?

With her hair pulled up into a high ponytail, the back of her neck felt cold, like all the teeny-tiny hairs were standing on end, trying to keep her warm. She felt so very naked and vulnerable.


I'm getting chills sitting here. I think it's about time I actually went inside and started looking up movie times. It's when the sun goes down that I really start getting freaked out. Every little noise sparks something inside me. I don't know if I'll get around to writing some more tonight, so I guess goodbye for now.

~ Rogue


She closed the book and clutched it to her chest. A chill slithered its way up her spine as she picked herself up and dusted off the back of her pants. She'd sat on a sawed off trunk and no doubt little bits of snow and dirt had collected on her jeans. For a moment, she put the book down on the trunk and reached into her pockets for her gloves. Her hand momentarily brushed against her walkie-talkie before she found her gloves.

As she pulled the gloves on, she wondered if the frequency of the walkie-talkies would reach Remy wherever he was. Maybe he isn't too far away… she thought as her hand brushed against it again. "No," she told herself firmly. "Ah'm not gonna interrupt him. Ah'll wait mah turn." She sighed as her thoughts flooded with those of Remy again.

She dug into her mind for his memories of recent days to see if there was anything positive about her. Of course, they were all positive thoughts of her, but she was looking more in the area of a hint… something that told her she wasn't foolish to feel the way she was feeling.

She shook her head. "No. No more." She kept chanting to herself those words as she picked up her journal and turned to leave.


She whirled back to the forest. The noise was louder this time, closer. Ya're makin' yoahself weak, gal. Stop it. Ya're imagin' everythin' as a defense to fohget about Remy. She nodded as she turned back around. Though thinkin' about him ain't the healthiest thing raht now. She sighed and turned again, taking a few steps before she heard it again.


It was all but on top of her now. She froze in her tracks. How could Ah have imagined that? It's so close.

Trembling, she took a step forward without looking back. If Ah look back, Ah'll just see how stupid Ah'm bein' by imagin' somethin' that ain't there. Ah've been paranoid all mah life. It's gonna stop now.

She suddenly felt air - warm and hot - on the back of her neck. Her eyes went wide as her mouth crinkled in a silent sob. She willed herself to run, but her legs just wouldn't listen to her. Before she could even realize it, a shadow had come out of the corner of her right eye and clamped over her mouth. She whimpered when she couldn't scream. She felt a painful stab to the left side of her neck, instantly making her drowsy as whatever flowed through her system.

Her eyes drooped slowly as her body felt sleepy, but her entire mind was alive with fear. Before her eyelids dropped one final time, a breath so putrid wafted through the air. It was a chuckle. A chuckle she knew all too well. Her mind wailed silently as one question filled her last bit of consciousness.

"Did ya miss me, frail?"

One thing led to another whenever Remy was out with Sarah. At the moment, they'd found themselves in the backseat of Sarah's Jeep Wrangler. Pizza was one thing, making out was another.

"Wait, wait," Remy said as Sarah had made it down to his pant's zipper. "What time is it?"

"What does it matter?" Sarah asked huskily. She resumed unbuttoning him.

Remy didn't know what was wrong with him. Suddenly everything felt very out of place, like if he were to step outside the car, he wouldn't know what world he lived in. "What time is it?"

Sarah sighed and checked her cell phone. "It's almost 6:00. Happy?"

"Non…" he said, sitting back up and pulling his shirt down. "We got t' get back t' de institute."

"Why?" She pouted, finding her discarded shirt on the floor.

"I tol' Rogue I'd go t' de movies wit' her t'night."

He couldn't help but feel the slightest bit angry when Sarah rolled her eyes. "That's where you were last night. I didn't want to ask, but I just have to. You slept in her room, didn't you?" She asked accusingly.

"Yeah… so?"

"You have any idea what you sound like? 'Yeah, I slept in the same bed with a fifteen-year-old girl.'"

"I don' necessarily care what you or de guys would t'ink."

"Remy… regardless of whether she was alright with it, it's still statutory rape."

"Y' serious?"

She nodded. "Yeah. She's under the age of consent. So whatever you and your little friend did last night-"

"Wait, wait, wait, what de hell are you implyin'?"

"Remy," she pulled her shirt over her head and sat back against the seat next to him. "It's obvious you got it bad for her."

"What de hell are y' talkin' about? Jus' because m'best friend is a femme t'ree years younger dan me means I've 'got it bad' f'r her'?"

"It's not just that. You're always talking about her. Like everything is about her."

"So y' t'ink I'm fuckin' her, too, is that what y' sayin'?"

She laughed. "Of course I'm not saying that. She can't touch anyone."

Even though the statement was true, it still made Remy see red. "Den what de hell are y' sayin'?"

"Remy, we've been doing whatever for how many months now? I know how creative you are." She grinned. "I'm the envy of all the girls at school."

"I can' believe I didn' see how twisted you are when we first started. We're goin' home." He climbed up into the front seat and turned the car on.

"Now you're just denying it. God, Remy, can't you see? I'm not trying to make you feel bad about you liking Rogue, I'm just trying to get you to admit it."

"An' what if I don' like her like dat?"

"Then I'd say you were lying. I've watched how your face changes when you talk to her or about her. Remember yesterday how I said I didn't want you to choose between us. It's not only because I knew you were going to choose her, because I thought it would make you realize how much she really means to you. It might not be in a total romantic way, but there's gotta be more than just friendship between you guys."

"Well, how 'bout dis: what if she doesn' feel dat way 'bout me at all?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Remy, doll. You really don't have a clue. Even when she's flirting with Jono, everyone knows she's always going to love you."

"How de hell does everyone know dis an' not me?! I'm fuckin' connected t' dat girl. Wait, flirtin' wit' Jono? When did dat happen?"

She smirked. "After she left the TV room before I went in to see you, I saw Jono stop her. She got all blushy and everything like that. That boy really knows how to talk to his girls, but I've seen you interact with her and how she interacts with you. And going back to your first question… I've been talking to the other psychics in the house and they said that since it's probably been there since Day 1, you've come to be totally used to feeling it from her that you never thought a single thing of it."

Remy was silent. This was just too much to think about. Rogue… his little Rogue. There was no way he felt something for her besides friendship, right? It was just too weird. It seemed out of place… which reminded him of why he stopped Sarah from opening his pants earlier. "C'n I use y' cell phone?"

Sarah smiled and handed it to him. "You calling her?"

He nodded mutely and dialed the Institute. Someone picked up after two rings. "Xavier Institute," Hank greeted.

"Henri, it be Remy. Is Rogue dere?"

"Hmm… I haven't seen her since she was talking with Alison and that was two hours ago."

"Do y' t'ink she's in her room?"

"I will check. Do you mind being put on hold?"

"Not at all. Jus' find her."

The phone clicked and Remy's eyes averted to Sarah. "I'll drive home," she offered. He nodded and slid into the passenger seat. "Ya know, you only sound just a little bit desperate."

"Jus' drive. Dis is jus' confusin'."

"What's confusing about it? She's a cute little girl."

"Dat's de point! She's a little girl. I don' know where everyone is gettin' de notion dat I'm secretly in love wit' her."

"But you haven't fully denied it yet either, have you?"

"Non… I haven'."

"Remy?" Hank was back on the phone.

"Oui? Y' see her dere?"

"I did not. She must be elsewhere on the grounds or perhaps she actually when out."

"Alright… well, me an' Sarah'll be home in ten minutes. I'll look f'r her den."

"I will keep an eye out for her. Oh, dear. Nathan just got into the cookies again."

"Go 'head den, Henri. We'll see y' when we get back."

Hank could be heard chastising Nathan. "Good-bye," he fit in before hanging up the phone.

Remy clicked the phone off. "Where de hell could she be?" Sarah shrugged and kept her eyes on the road.

"Winter sucks. It gets way too dark out too early."

"Maybe she's in her spot by de forest… I followed her out dere a couple times wit'out her knowin'…" Remy suddenly thought of something. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the walkie-talkie. "Y' t'ink I'll be able t' reach her?"

"Can't you just wait until we get home?"

He shook his head furiously. "Somet'in' sparked in m'head. Somet'in' very wrong. O' course I instantly t'ink o' her."

"I know why…" Sarah sang.

"Shush. Dis is serious."

"What if it's nothing and you're just overreacting? If she's on the grounds, what could possibly happen to her?"

"It's Rogue. Anyt'in' c'n happen wit' her." He pushed the button for the walkie-talkie. "Rogue? P'tite? Y' dere?" Static answered him. "Maybe we're too far away?"

"Those are just kiddy toys. Wait till we get closer."

Why do I get de feelin' dat might be too late? He waited a full excruciatingly painful minute before trying again. "C'mon, p'tite. Where y' at?"

It buzzed for a moment and then cleared as if she'd hit the button on her side. "I'll tell ya where she's at."

That wasn't Rogue. "Who de hell is dis?" Remy growled into the toy.

"An' old buddy, Cajun. I'm surprised you haven't figured it out." Remy's eyes went wide and burned bright. "An' let's just say that your little orange trick ain't gonna help." Then the toy went fuzzy.

"Merde." His world collapsed and the bits of scenery outside the window broke like glass. "Dieu, non, non, non…"

"Remy?" Sarah glanced off the road, her eyes wide with worry. "What's wrong?"

"Drive. Jus' drive as fast y' c'n wit'out killin' us."

"What the hell just happened?!"

"Victor found her. An' I wasn' dere t' stop him." Remy's brow wrinkled with anger as he mistakenly charged the walkie-talkie.

"Shit! Remy, throw that out the window!" She lowered the window and he did so without a word.

He buried his face in his hands. Sarah's heart just about fell to her toes when she saw the first of Remy's tears spill through his nimble fingers. "I wasn' dere t' stop him," he whispered again, over taken by grief.


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