Always Relied on the Kindness of Strange Femmes - REVIEW THIS STORY

Written by Diamonde
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 2

Remy tried to close the door quietly, but he wasn't two steps inside before he was mugged for his leftovers.

"What'd you get? Gimme, gimme!"

Tom was having a party, so they decided to eat on the roof. A bottle of wine later, they were pleasantly tipsy and looking at the stars.

Storm blasted two more of Arcade's cyborgs with lightning bolts. Things had been tense for a while, but they were pushing them back. Of course, Iceman had been slightly injured and Wolverine was still buried under the pile of rubble which had once been a wall, but Rogue was attending to that. As she landed and looked futilely the way Arcade himself had left, she heard Cannonball mutter "Why in the middle of the night? Why can't they attack durin' business hours? Ah need sleep."

"And those three bright ones? With the other faint ones, they look like a dog."

"I don' see it."

She shuffled over and leaned her head on his shoulder. "See, the head, the back goes that way, the two you can hardly see are the tail."

"Stranges' dog I ever saw"

"Fine. You find something."

Remy looked at the stars. "Vedis, you're a mutant, aren't you?"

"Yes and no."

"Can' say I've ever heard dat answer b'fore." He looked at her. She was staring into the distance, an expression of philosophical resignation on her face.

"Remy, how old do you think I am?"

"Twenty-four, twenty-five."

"I'm ten. I was genetically engineered, partially using mutant DNA. So I am a member of this exclusive sub-species, but technically I never mutated. They accelerated my growth until I was sixteen, trained me to be an agent. But they overestimated my loyalty, and six years ago I went on an industrial espionage mission in Germany and never came back. I had an implant in my arm, but one of the scientists met me there and took it out. He was the one who gave me my name. It means hunter. What they bred me for, what I eventually did to them." She turned and looked at him with a sad smile on her face. "You remind me of him."

"What happened to him?"

"He died of a heart attack four years ago. I think he's forgiven himself now."

Remy pulled her into his arms, and they sat there for a while. Then something caught his eye. "See dat group of stars, chere? Dey make an X in a circle."

Vedis sighed, and enjoyed the warmth. Then she looked at his face. He still misses them. But maybe I can help a little bit.

Rogue woke up. Someone was watching her. She leapt out of bed and scanned the room, the someone was sitting in the window.

"Who're you? And how did ya get in heah?"

"Very easily. It was almost embarrassing. Rogue, I hear you value the truth very highly."

Rogue looked at the woman, she was just sitting there. She wasn't making any threatening moves, and Rogue knew she just had to yell to get the rest of the X-Men running in. It was only eleven, half of them were still up. "Yeah, Ah do."

"Then come for a little fly with me, and I'll show you a truth you missed somewhere."

"Y' nevah told me ya name."

The silhouette in the window stood still for a moment. "Which one? I have a lot."

"Ya real one."

"My real one…" The voice sounded both amused and cynical. "Well, how about a little deal. I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours."

Rogue nearly laughed. But not that nearly. "Point. Let's leave names out of it, an' you can show me whatevah it was. Just hang on a minute." She grabbed her jeans off the floor and pulled them on. "But if ya try any funny stuff, Ah'll touch ya."

"I don't think that'll be necessary."

Rogue flew cautiously out of the window after her mysterious visitor. They headed towards New York, flying fast. By the time they slowed down enough to talk, Rogue was a bit lost. But there were a few questions that she should have asked a while ago.

"How do you know me, sugah?"

Her companion didn't turn from her search of the ground below. "I have a friend who knew you quite well. Could probably draw your face with his eyes shut."

"What is so important that you had t' drag me outta bed?"

This time she did look. "I'm not doing this for my benefit, or yours. There is just something that you really ought to see. Down here." She brought her feet forward and began to drop gracefully down into an alley. About three feet above the ground, in front of a well-lit window, she stopped. "Look in there."

Rogue looked through the small, high window into a large kitchen. By the look of things they were clearing up for the night, half the people were sitting around with cups of tea or coffee. This group seemed to be mostly men, and they were having an animated discussion about something. A nice-looking kid in a waiter's uniform turned around to talk to another man emptying a pot with his back to the window. Rogue knew who he was before he turned around. They had a loud, friendly talk, interrupting each other and making jokes. Rogue felt like the beggar watching the feast, they all looked so normal and happy. Then the first guy turned to Remy with a sly expression on his face.

"So, Remy. What does your perfect woman look like?"

"Oh, I already met her, Zak."

He grinned. "Who, Jules? Didn't think you two were like that."

"Nah. Dis one had reddish hair wit' a white streak down de middle. Big green eyes, Mississippi accent…" he trailed off, staring blankly at the opposite wall with a wistful expression on his face.

"So what happened? Come on, spill. I love a good romance," an Asian woman piped up from across the room.

"We busted up 'bout a mont' ago."

"Who left who?" Zak asked, swinging his legs off the side of the bench.

"She left me."

Another woman wearing the same uniform as Zak walked over to Remy. "Oh, you poor thing." She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him on the cheek.

"T'anks, Linda." He smiled at the pretty little blonde.

"My pleasure." She gave him a wink and continued about her business.

Rogue suddenly hated Linda.

"So are you gonna tell us what happened, or do we have to drag it out of you?"

Remy gave Zak a nasty look.

The little woman who loved romances sat down next to him and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, we're your friends. You can tell us anything, we won't hold it against you." Rogue got a not-so-subtle dig in the ribs at that.

"I'd done somet'ing nasty a few years ago, an' I said so. I been tryin' t' make up for it ever since. But den when she found out what it was, she couldn' handle it an' left. Can't say I blame her."

The woman snorted. "She's an idiot, then, letting a nice guy like you get away." Rogue got another poke.

"I'm glad y' t'ink so, Tora."

The tiny person grinned. "No charge."

They all laughed, and went back to clearing up. Rogue almost cried. They teased, pushed and jostled, laughed at each other and bickered over who got to take home what tidbit. And Remy was one of them. He and Zak were, in fact, the worst. It started when Zak flicked bubbles from cleaning, in retaliation Remy got his nice white apron with spaghetti sauce. Of course, then Zak had to sneakily fill a bucket while Remy's back was turned and dump the entire contents over his head. Then they wrestled for a few minutes, before Remy managed to dump the waiter in one of the sinks.

"They're all so happy… Ah wish Ah could be a part of something like that."

"The X-Men aren't?" She seemed surprised.

"We used t' be. But we're different, we nevah get to do real normal things like that without something happening to remind us that we're not. Not anymore."

"Why?"

Rogue thought about it. Marrow, Joseph, her own odd behavior, Remy…"We don't trust each other anymore."

"Well, I'm going to trust you not to tell anyone about this. Remy weaseled this job out of Jerry because he didn't want to steal, and I don't think you'd want to ruin his chance for an honest life."

"Sugah, Ah don't even know where Ah am." She snorted cynically. "And no one would believe me if'n Ah did tell."

"That's good. Because if you did, I'd have to kill you." The look in her eyes was cold and hard.

She would. And probably could. "Keep an eye on him for us then, would you? Sometimes he needs it."

"I'm sure he can take care of himself. He's been doing it for years." Her nameless companion peeked in the window. "Time for me to take you home, hon. They're almost finished."

They flew back to Salem Center, again too fast for Rogue to see the route. Soon she was back in her bed, and no one even knew she'd been gone. But she thought long, hard thoughts to herself.

Who's better off, girl? You tossed him out as punishment, and he's living a better life than the lot of you. When did we stop workin' on the dream and start picking on each other? The X-teams are tearing themselves apart. And all you can do is hope that maybe we'll make it through.

Vedis slid through the air like a small dark secret, but stopped short of the window. She'd forgotten to get the mail. With a sigh she turned, shifting as she decended into the street. Julia touched down gently and walked around the corner to the main door.

The mail, however, turned out to be boring. Invitation to apply for another credit card. Vedis mentally scrolled through her identities and decided they all had plenty. A few bills and a suspicious envelope that was probably from the government. Remy's problem, not hers.

"Julia? What are you doing coming home at this time of night?" Tom was doing his benevolent protector thing again.

Vedis took a deep breath and tried not to think about how easy it would be to slip the knife out of her boot and into his brain. "You know me, Tom. Party girl, always on the lookout for the perfect man." She could have bitten her own tongue out.

"I was under the impression that you'd already found him." Tom looked suspicious now.

"Oh, Remy is nearly perfect."

"He came home an hour ago. Naughty girl, going out without him."

Now, how to make him think she wasn't a slut. That would make things worse. Each move carefully coordinated, Vedis conveyed cameradie with the lean, walk and friendly pat on the shoulder. "Not really." She lowered her voice, a quirk of her lips indicating that she had something amusing to confide. "You see, Remy is only a roommate really." Tom looked stunned, so she moved on quickly. "He doesn't know I'm after him, which is why I go out without him sometimes. I wouldn't want to scare him away."

"Then why pretend?" She could tell that Tom was beginning to calculate her value again.

"It's a secret. I don't know if I should tell you."

He was caught in her little web now, intruiged. "You can trust me, Julia. I won't tell a soul." He smiled.

"Well Tom, the truth is that Remy's gay. The play-acting keeps my parents off my back and his from dying of shock." She giggled, the real reason being the idea that anything could surprise the head of the Thieves Guild that much. Jean Luc LeBeau would probably be relieved if someone told him Remy was gay.

"He's gay? And you're trying to seduce him?"

She laughed, a tinkling little upper-class laugh that never failed. "Tom! You make it sound so… calculated." She laughed again. "No, Remy is quite close to the perfect man. Aren't they all? That's why I'm working on him. But an even better, straighter one might be out there and I'd hate to miss him." She smiled goodbye and pushed the button for the elevator. It opened immediately, already at the bottom.

"Maybe you've already met him and just haven't noticed." For once, Tom sounded a little different. Almost wistful, less like the capitalist they both knew he really was.

"Maybe. But I'm a strange sort of girl, Tommy, the guy I settle down with is going to have to be different." The doors closed between them and Vedis grinned wryly to herself. Nice as he is, I don't particularly think I want to spend the rest of my life with Remy, not even in our non-romantic situation. Me settle down with anyone for the rest of my life? Now there's a laugh.

She tried half-heartedly to sneak in. It was a game that had become a rather pointless habit, somehow Remy always knew she was there.

"You're late."

"Just flying around. By the way, Tom knows we're just pretending to like each other."

Remy laughed. That was another long-running joke, they were just living together because they were to lazy to change. "So now you start sneakin' out more? How fun."

"Nah, I think he got the message. Anyway, he thinks I'm trying to seduce you."

"And you still haven't succeeded? I wouldn' believe dat."

"He does. I told him you're gay."

Remy choked. Vedis smiled. She'd finally managed to completely shock him. Now that she really thought about it, it was a rather perverse notion. Remy was probably the most rampantly heterosexual person she knew.

Vedis leaned back and spun her chair around as she read the fax. "Hey Remy. This sounds like a nice one. Big, but… rewarding."

"What is it?"

"Burglary. And you'll never guess who from."

"Den I won't try."

"C'mon, three guesses."

"NASA."

"No! What do they have that's worth my time?"

"No idea. De CIA."

"Nope. They know more about me than I like to tell, so I stay right away."

"De X-Men."

"Very close. Charles Xavier."

Remy frowned. "What are you supposed to be stealing?"

"Some painting. Don't worry, none of that traitor bullshit. It's not even like it's worth much." She kicked the chair off again. She liked to spin around when she was thinking. "It's a two-person job though. Wanna do it together and split the money? Be nice revenge."

Remy tossed his book aside and bounced up. "Do bears shit in de woods?"

Watching the rain, Remy grinned to himself. This was certainly going to be an interesting little introduction, and he couldn't wait to see what happened.

"So where the hell is this friend you wanted me to meet anyway?" Vedis sighed and wriggled around in her chair. Her head hung off the edge of the seat and her legs went up the back. She tapped one foot impatiently against the wall.

"Who knows? Sometimes she likes t' make an entrance, sometimes she can't move or she might blow her cover, but she's late most of de time."

"Oh goody." Tap tap tap. "I'm boored."

"Amusing yourself is an important life skill."

"Shut up and say something entertaining." She paused. "That was an oxymoron or something, wasn't it?"

"Probably."

There was a knock on the door. Vedis flipped backwards, landed neatly and jogged to the door. A blonde woman was on the other side. They paused for a second, waiting. Remy turned off the TV, got up and stretched.

"Come in, Raven."

"Don't mind if I do." She stepped in and looked at Vedis interestedly. Vedis returned the scrutiny.

"Raven, dis is Vedis. Vedis, Mystique."

Fascinated, Mystique reverted to her natural form. Two redheaded metamorphs looked into each other's golden eyes.

"Cool," they said in unison.

Remy looked up from the TV. That had sounded like the window, and Vedis was a day late. He was right, she came in a few seconds later, wearing a face he'd never seen before. Probably the one she'd been using when she worked. The next thing he noticed was the satisfied smirk on her new face. She stretched languorously and plopped down next to him.

"Oh, that was fun." Vedis wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. "What's on?"

"Not much. I t'ought you were going t' be home yesterday. Somet'ing go wrong?"

She smirked again. "Oh no, it all went well. I just had to say thank-you to the lovely security guard who let me in."

"An' it took you a whole day?"

"Well, I wanted to be thorough. He was very helpful."

"I'll bet."

"Hey, the one-night stands are one of the few perks of this job, aside from the money. Don't try to ruin it for me just because you have all these weird ideas about love. Lust has always worked quite well for me."

Remy smiled. "One day you'll fall in love, and I can' wait t' laugh at you."

"Naaaah, never happen. Give me a nice juicy fling and I'm happy."

Remy headed off to work the next morning before Vedis was awake. He was doing the lunch shift, which meant he had to get up earlier than usual, i.e. before eleven. Eddie was happy about it though, as it meant he actually got breakfast.

"Remy! Linda just called in, her taxi ran up the back of some Mercedes and she'll be a bit late. Cover for her!" Jerry called down the stairs into the kitchen.

"I'm an artiste! I'm too sensitive f' dat!" he called back.

"Just do it!"

"Yes Sir, I live but t' serve." Remy muttered, taking off his apron. Nobody told him honest work would be so much work. Not that he didn't enjoy the cooking, of course, he just disliked waiting tables. But he managed, running around when there were too many for Chris and the others to handle on their own and somehow getting some cooking done at the same time.

"Big new business party just came in!" Chris called. "Remy, can you take them?"

Remy was halfway out the door when he recognized one of the people in the group. Archangel had been pretty upset last time they'd seen each other, it probably wasn't a good idea to go over there and get recognized. He looked around frantically. How was he going to get out of this one? Then an angel from heaven sent for his salvation walked in the back door. And the phone rang, and since Jerry was out, they'd have to answer it.

"Linda! VIPs [authors note: to the staff this means Very Irritating Prick] waiting t' sit down, I'll get de phone."

"Right, on my way."

What do you know, dere is a God dat looks out for t'ieves an' scoundrels. He ducked around the corner and picked up the telephone. "Hello, Orion's."

"Hello, my name's Elisabeth Braddock and I'm looking for a Warren Worthington. He should be there."

Remy held the receiver at arms length and screamed silently. There is a God, and he hates me. Okay, no time to get rid of accent, keep it short, make voice deeper, remember they can smell fear… "I'll see if he's here."

"Thank you."

Now what would he do? Even if he sent someone else out to get Worthington, and everyone was busy except him, he'd have to come back through the kitchen. He cursed the architect who thought it would be a good idea to have the upstairs office only open into the kitchen. Help help help help help… hold on. Why should I care? He's de one intruding on my life. If he doesn't like it, tough! Fortified by that thought (and a plan, and the fact that it would be hard for Warren to kill him in such a public place) he marched out to face the Angry Angel.

"Excuse me Warren."

Archangel spun around, he recognized that voice. The image that met his eyes wasn't quite what he expected, Remy was wearing a white shirt, jeans and an apron. He also looked slightly annoyed, but defiant. As if daring him to say anything.

"Yes?"

"You're girlfriend's on de phone. Y' want t' talk to her? She don' sound angry."

"Um, yes. Excuse me, gentlemen."

Remy bowed, sweeping his arms in the direction of the kitchen. "After you." Maybe he was a little paranoid, not wanting to turn his back on someone who really was a nice guy, but a paranoid thief is a live thief.

Warren was told that the X-Men were going out on a mission, and he should stay on his guard, even though he probably wouldn't be needed. Remy stayed next to him the whole time, pretending not to see the subtle hints for privacy. So after the telephone was hung up, they stared at each other for minute.

"Not'ing I could have done would've made a difference. It would have happened anyway."

"You still have to take part of the blame, Gambit."

Remy shook his head. "Dere ain't no Gambit, not anymore. And I've been bearin' dat blame for a long time. It's my burden t' worry about. De deaths will always be on my conscience." He tilted his head to one side and glared at Warren. "So if you tell anyone about dis, I might be tempted to add yours."

"I won't. I just hope you're telling your new friends the truth." Warren turned to leave.

"I tell dem whatever dey want to know. And Warren?"

He turned back. "Yes?"

"Give up on de Huntress. Take it from an old criminal, you ain't never gonna find her."

"LeBeau, what she stole from me-"

"Was sold for incredible amount of money t' one of y' competitors. You may lose a few million, but you can spare it, non?"

Archangel could have sworn that smile was a little smug. "And how do you know that?"

Remy shrugged and smiled. "I'm completely amoral, I looked in her record books. Took me weeks t' crack dat code."

"You know her?"

Remy winked. "Intimately, she's nearly my best friend. Never underestimate de charm of being a bird wit' a broken wing."

Warren smiled faintly. "I never have."

Vedis sat down on the side of the bath to think about her little problem. Damn security guard. Remy might be a teeny bit annoyed at her, but she'd just have to think up a really nice way to tell him. And soon, he was getting a bit suspicious about why she hadn't worked for the last month.

Archangel and Psylocke (telepath, remember) never told anyone about Remy. Rogue also kept her secret to herself and worked hard to pull the X-Teams back together.

A few years later…

The Huntress resisted the urge to hum, that would have been unprofessional. But so far things had been embarrassingly easy. Not embarrassing for her, for them. She wondered absently while wiring the detonator in whether she was overcharging. Not that she objected to extra money, of course, but if it got out that she was overpriced she wouldn't get so many jobs. Sound business sense, the violence trade wasn't really that different to others. She'd discuss it when she went to collect her money, a reputation for honest dealings was also a good thing in any business.

She had just set up her nice bomb when she heard a noise. Tiny, faint, she only heard it because she'd shifted to give herself ears more sensitive than Wolverine's.

Cat tut-tutted to herself about the state the window hinges were in. She'd oiled them, as per SOP, but they were all rusty. She dropped inside, landing easily on all four paws. They didn't call her Cat for nothing. Then she got a whiff of someone coming towards her, someone female who smelled of leather, metal and gunpowder. A mercenary. But unlike most mercenaries, this one also smelt faintly of Cajun spices and children. How fascinating. Cat reached out with a tendril of thought. Equally fascinating, this person was here on a job, a fun one. Blow the place up. I'll just let her go about her business, I'll get out long before it goes off. And it'll save me disposing of the body. She went to back out of the mind… and couldn't.

Who are you and what are you doing in my head? The thought wasn't angry or aggressive, but firm. Cat looked up into slit-pupilled eyes. The other woman had somehow managed to sneak up on her without it spilling into the thoughts Cat was searching. Impressive.

"Meow?" she said, without much hope.

Not buying it, sister. We metamorphs recognize our own.

~Look. You're here to turn this place into ashes and flying debris, and I'm here to kill the guy upstairs who would die anyway. How about you do your thing, I kill him slowly and painfully, and your explosion nicely gets rid of his mortal husk for me?~

The Huntress considered this. It sounded reasonable, and it was hard to lie in that telepathic position. Why do you want to kill him?

~He hurt a friend of mine. Badly. Now he will pay. Why do you want to blow him up?~

He's a bastard, and someone is paying me. What did he do?

Cat didn't answer, she just sent images. Of an innocent, happy person who's life was destroyed by intimidation, protection payoffs and gang rule.

The Huntress stood silently for a moment, thinking. I don't think my employer would mind if he was already dead when my bomb went off, and we didn't set a specific time. That is one nasty corpse we have up there. Cat could feel her anger, and nearly purred. She liked this person already. Want a hand sending it to meet its maker? I'm not doing anything else tonight.

~I'd be greedy if I didn't share such a choice target with a fellow professional. Let's go cause a little pain.~

Vedis and Shannai sat on the edge of a roof, swinging their feet and watching the fire. Shannai could say one thing for her new friend, she wasn't skimpy on the explosives.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Vedis sighed. Then another fire engine went past underneath their feet, and the conversation had to be stopped to see who could spit on it. Not out of contempt for their fine efforts, just because it was part of the Emergency Vehicle Moving Target game.

Shannai shook out her hair. "Yeah. And it's good to leave the professional persona behind again. I'm too tired to be mean." She yawned, and squinted at the sunrise. Killing scum like that could take a lot out of a person.

"I know what you mean." Vedis was now a blue-eyed platinum blonde. "I'm running late, too. If I'm not home in time for breakfast, Remy'll read me the riot act. Or else he'll forget to get up at all, one or the other."

"Is Remy a significant other?" Shannai didn't worry if that sounded like prying. There were few social conventions in these sorts of situations.

"Yeah. A lousy roommate. He smokes, stays out late and is way too charming for his own good, but he gets on well with the other people in the place and he cooks well if you like spicy." She smiled. "I must have gained an inch in height since he's been living with me."

"Oooh. Food…" Shannai's stomach rumbled.

"Wanna come over for breakfast? It'll piss him off, especially when I make him cook."

"Sure."

"I am not cooking. Your guest, you do it." Remy had indeed read the riot act, and was now dramatically sulking.

"Me?" Vedis looked shocked. "I've been out all night earning the money that puts food on this table-"

"Dat's what I'm telling you, put food on de table." He grinned. Vedis glared.

"It keeps you in the style to which you have become accustomed, darling. Do you think you could afford this place on what you earn?"

"No." He replied cheerily. "Dat's one of de reasons I like you so much, your unconditional generosity."

"Okay, you win! I am too tired for this, just cook the damn food."

"All y' had to say, two little words…"

One day, more than four years after The Antarctica Incident that is Not To Be Mentioned, Sinister decided to play. He pulled out his favourite piece of anti-X artillery and set to work. As far as the X-Men were concerned, Gambit was back and selling information on them. Actually, he was having an artistic disagreement with Jerry at that specific moment, but none of them knew that. They finally used Cerebro to track him down. He was an upper apartment of an expensive and exclusive building.

"Jean, are you sure this is the right place?"

"No, I've only been pretending to be telepathic all these years, Joseph. I'm just lucky." There was a pause. "Don't even think about kicking the door down."

They knocked instead. Heroes really should be polite, and they were trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Nobody answered, although they could hear the TV going quietly in the background. Still trying to be vaguely considerate, they got Joseph to magnetically unlock the door, and let themselves in.

Remy was sitting on the couch watching 'Mad About You' reruns. He looked around at the sound of the door, and leapt up. Wolverine felt terribly guilty. From the smell of things, Remy wasn't the only person who lived here.

"What de hell are you doing here? Get out, now!" he hissed.

The X-Men were a little shocked. They'd expected him to be on the defensive, not them.

"Gambit, we need to talk. There's-" Jean tried to speak in her normal voice (she was tired of whispering), but was cut off.

"We can talk outside. And be quiet!" He tried to push the entire team bodily out the door. Considering that there were ten X-Men there and Beast on his own weighed more than Remy could comfortably move, this was a case of Mohammed trying to move the mountain to a more desirable location before he climbed it.

"Gambit!" Joseph was a little shocked. Nobody had ever tried to manhandle him this way before.

"Shutdefuckup!" Remy forgot to keep his voice down.

"Uncle Wemy, you sweared! I'm gonna tell M-" The owner of that little voice came around the corner. Her big green eyes opened wide and she stared at the apparitions in spandex who had materialized in the middle of her world. The X-Men stared back at this world-shaker in Peter Pan pajamas. Iceman got a tickle in his throat, and accidentally coughed. The break in the strained silence seemed to scare her, and with a startled "Eeep!" she ran across the room to hide behind Remy's legs.

Cannonball looked at the little blonde munchkin who had one wild eye peeking around Remy's thigh and went all warm and gooshy inside. She was just so cute!

Rogue had a different view of things. "Remy?" She sounded stricken. "She's… she's not yours is she?"

Remy looked affronted. "No! She's my roommate's baby, and I don' appreciate you barging in here an' waking her up. Now get out!"

Wolverine was also watching the little child. She seemed to be recovering. "Hey kid. What's your name?"

She came out from behind Remy's leg and took a few steps forward. "My name's Mawie. Who're you? You fwiends of Uncle Wemy?"

"Marie. That's a very pretty name."

"Fanks."

"I'm Logan. And yeah, me 'n yer… uncle," no, he just could not say that with a straight face, "we used t' be friends."

She tilted her little head and twisted one spiral curl around her finger as she squinted at him. Something was obviously bothering her.

"Something the matter, darlin'?" He crouched down so they could look eye to eye.

She pursed her lips and looked confused. "Why're all you people dwessed like Dane Fonda?"

Wolverine couldn't help himself. He laughed. In fact, he laughed so hard he almost choked and had to have a sit down. Some of the other X-Men joined in, the rest just smiled or looked uncomfortable.

Marie stamped one small foot and pouted. "Uncle Wemy! They're laughing at me!"

Remy picked her up and cuddled her. "No, dey aren't. You jus' made a good joke."

"But I was askin' a sewious question! Not even Uncle Cwis dwesses so weird!" She stuck her thumb in her mouth and glared.

Remy bit his lip. His shoulders shook and his face went red. Psylocke scanned his mind, and came up with the time several months ago when 'Uncle Cwis' had come to the Christmas party dressed in drag. It had made a lasting impression on Marie.

Beast also privately held certain opinion on the costumes, but decided to try and explain to her. He'd been a very curious child himself, and had hated it when adults were too busy laughing at him to answer what had seemed perfectly reasonable questions. "Marie, we wear these so that we can move easier. Like gymnasts."

Marie looked Cyclops up and down. "Never seen a dymnast wear anythin' that funny," she said resolutely, and tucked the thumb back into her mouth.

"Gumbo, make her stop, I'm gonna wet myself here…"

Marie climbed down and walked over to Wolverine. She patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "That's okay. I used ta have accidents sometimes."

Wolverine took one look at her serious expression and tried not to start up again. "Thanks," he said with equal seriousness.

At that point, they heard someone walking in through the kitchen, talking as she came. "Remy? Who…" She froze.

Marie smiled happily and ran over as fast as her little legs would carry her. "Mommy!"

Her mother knelt down and enfolded the little girl in a protective embrace. "Remy? I thought we settled that it was a house rule not to bring your work home with you unless it's edible."

Remy shrugged. "Sorry, Julia. They just invited themselves in."

She stood up, still holding her daughter. "How rude. What do you people want?"

All the X-Men looked at Cyclops. He coughed. It was one thing to barge in on a suspected traitor, quite another to push into an unidentified woman's home.

"We have reports of Gambit selling information on the X-Men…" He didn't get any further.

"And y' believed it? You people are incredible!"

Calm again, Vedis put Marie down. "Go into your room and shut the door, honey. Uncle Remy's probably going to swear. I'll come and get you when the shouting's over." Marie nodded and trotted off the way she had come.

"Remy?" Rogue stepped forwards almost timidly.

"What?!" He glared at her.

She winced, and Remy instantly looked contrite. Then he winced as well when Vedis kicked him in the ankle. He repeated himself in a much more polite fashion. "What?"

"Ah didn't believe it." She looked at her feet.

Wolverine watched in interest as the whoever-she-was apparently named Julia smiled and patted herself on the back.

"I would not have thought it of you, but we have not seen each other for many years." Storm sounded regretful, but not completely trusting.

Wolverine sighed. This was turning into a regular confessional. "If we're all gonna be admittin' to things we have or haven't believed about him, we're gonna be here all night." He gave his reluctant hostess the look that always worked so well on Jubilee and Kitty. "Don't suppose I can scrounge a brew or two off ya? I think I'll want a little alky between me an' the emotion slash corniness which will be flying around the room any minute now." He paused. "But not too much, 'cause there may be some furniture takin' wings as well."

She snorted. "Not my furniture. But you can have a beer, I think I want one too. Any one else?" She looked around.

"Oui," grouched Remy.

"Count me in." Iceman also found himself a seat. Everyone knew that a 'serious talk' was in the works, and he realised that there was no way all the X-Men would find chairs, so it would be best to get in early.

Remy was pacing up and down, growing more and more agitated. "So, you're telling me dat I supposedly sold information on you? Did you stop to think about how ridiculous that was?" He stopped and glared at them. "If was going to, I would have four years ago when my information was current and derefore wort' somet'ing!" He took a few deep breaths and tried to regain his composure. "When did I supposedly do it?"

Cyclops stood and faced him. Remy glared up at him. For once, the fact that Scott was that bit taller didn't matter to either of them.

"Late the night of the fifteenth."

Remy crossed his arms across his chest. "I have an alibi for dat night. If I told you, would y' believe it?" He looked around at the people he thought he'd known. "Would any of you believe it?"

"If we said we'd believe ya, would ya tell us the truth?"

"Yes, Sam, I'll tell y' de trut' whether you believe me or not. Because I don't care what you t'ink of me anymore." He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling for a moment, before turning back to Cyclops. That red gaze burrowed through the visor and pinned his mind to the back of his skull. "I was workin' at de Orion restaurant. At least ten people saw me. I was dere from five in de afternoon t' one in de morning."

"I want to believe you. But I'm sure you'll understand if I ask you to let Jean verify -"

"Yes I do mind! I'm not an X-Man anymore, 'member? This is my life, and you people made very clear y' don' want anyt'ing t' do wit' it. Why can' you jus' leave me alone?" The half-full beerbottle left his hand and flew across the room to smash against the wall. Then the anger drained out of his face, and he sat down. "Oh God, not again. I can' do dis again."

Rogue knew a lot more about herself then than she had four years ago. There had been a lot of very unflattering things she'd had to face, and some of it had been hard. The worst had been that no matter how angry she tried to make herself, she still loved Gambit. She was certainly attracted to Joseph, and someone with no past to contain nasty secrets had been a haven of sorts, but it wasn't love. The second worst had been her own hypocrisy. She'd never even told the X-Men her real name, let alone all the things she'd done as a member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. It wasn't the secret itself, it was how she had learnt of it. If he'd told her himself because he'd wanted to, things might have been different. But at the time she'd been overcome with the anguish contained in the memories she'd been forced to rip out of his mind. It had been a long time before she'd realised that the pain had been his.

She'd learnt a few things about the way telepaths meditate from Jean, and had used them to watch all the memories through. From the beginnings in the streets of New Orleans, she'd watched Remy LeBeau grow up in a hard world. She'd been the other witness at his wedding, felt the happiness and the hope. Then had felt the child's dreams crumble, leaving an adult's reality in their place. She saw the Mutant Massacre again, but with clearer eyes. She'd never realised how much of that world Mystique had protected her from. By the end she'd been crying, whether for him or for herself she wasn't sure. But she'd had a much clearer idea of who Remy LeBeau was, and why he'd risked his life with the X-Men. It had never been for the dream, or even for her, light blow to the ego though that was. He'd done it for himself, risking it all to get one last chance for absolution. But had never even managed to forgive himself. The final tragedy in the long string he had laughingly called his life was that he'd trusted the X-Men as much as he'd ever trusted anyone as an adult, but they had never trusted him and still saw no reason why they should.

"Scott?"

He turned, maybe a little surprised at the calm way she sounded. "Yes, Rogue?"

"We should go. He had nothing t' do with it, we all know that. We've got no business heah."

"Excuse me?"

"Ah should nevah even have let you come. Ah knew it wasn't somethin' he'd do." Remy looked up, his expression indecipherable. Rogue looked his straight in the eye. He deserved her respect, if not her friendship.

"How can you say that after everything he's done to you?" Joseph sounded unsettled.

"'Cause Ah know him almost as well as Ah know mahself. Ah absorbed his entire life. Ah've dreamed his dreams, seen things through his eyes, Ah even…" she smiled faintly. "Ah even caught mahself swearin' in French once. Gave mahself quite a turn."

"What did y' say?" Remy looked rather curious.

She blushed. "Ah'm too much of a lady ta say it out loud again."

"Don' t'ink anyone here speak French well enough t' care, chere."

"Promise ya won't laugh?"

"Promise."

She blushed again and repeated it. Remy smiled and worked really hard not to laugh. Vedis was under no such restrictions and didn't try.

"Oh dear, that must have given you quite a shock," she chortled.

"Ah reckon it gave Bishop a bigger one, considering he was the one Ah said it to. An' he knew what it meant. Seems the Witness says the same thing on occasion."

At that, Remy gave up on self control. "You said dat to Bishop? Oh, I've wanted t' say dat t' him for ages! Been savin' it for years, made it up specially f' him."

"That's probably why Ah said it, then. But ya future self did it first."

He stopped laughing suddenly, and Rogue smiled. That'd teach him to break a promise and laugh at her.

"I got cheated by myself? Dat's despicable! I don' mind dat you said it, but he knew I wanted t' say it first!"

Wolverine snickered and looked at Vedis. "Translate it for me? I think I wanna know what this terrible swearin' was."

She grinned. "Sure." She wandered over and whispered a long sentence into his ear. He sighed and looked reproachfully at Rogue.

"You don't know anythin' about his parents, darlin'. I don't think ya can presume that they weren't married an' one or more of 'em were Summers', let alone make assumptions on his sexual habits."

"Don't try to distract me, Logan. Ah meant what Ah said about us bein' heah." This time she only blushed mildly.

"I know, and I agree with ya. I just don't think the leader-types do."

"You're absolutely right, I don't." Cyclops was glad to move back to his reason for coming. Rogue was just confusing things. "It's time to tell the truth, hard as that may be for him." Maybe there was a little malice there, but Scott had never liked Remy. Too charming by half.

"Truth is relative," Vedis murmured.

"No, truth is fact."

She smiled like a spider might when the fly is barreling straight for her web. "Really. Let's explore that theory. As a fact, I think you had no business barging into my home. As far as I'm concerned, that's the truth. But you don't think so, and you believe that's true. Whose truth is the real one?"

"That is an opinion, not a fact."

"Oh, so we're nitpicking about what can be considered true now, are we? No one can judge without prejudice of opinion except God. Are you trying to do his job for him? Assuming God is male, which I personally am a little skeptical of."

Cyclops thought quickly. "Not all facts can be coloured by opinion. For example, two and two will always make four."

Vedis was on familiar ground here. People always tried to bring that one up. "No, that also depends on who you are. To a baby four is meaningless, it isn't until they are older that we condition them to our way of thinking. To Terry Pratchett's trolls, there are only one, two, three and many. Two and two make many."

"Then 'many' is four, and still the same."

"No, because numbers keep being many until you get to lots. Three and three also make many, and four can't be six as well." While Scott tried to think of a reply, she quickly turned to Iceman. "What's your opinion, as an accountant? If I were to come to you as a customer and pay you to tell me what two and two make, what would you say to me?"

Bobby grinned, he knew that joke. "Whatever you want it to make, oh giver of money." Everyone looked at him. "I'm broke, I can get two and two to be eight if someone pays me."

"Two and two equal four because of general consensus. Two and two only make four on the assumption that four exists, which it doesn't. Four is merely an imaginary label created by humans in order to make a concept comprehensible to our linear minds." Hank stood in the middle of an expanding circle of silence. Until Sam piped up with his two and two cents.

"But do two and two make four if there's no one there to see it?"

"And if ya add two oranges and two apples, y' don't always get four pieces of fruit. Sometimes you just get two apples and two oranges. Separate but equal." Rogue was smirking slightly.

"But does four want t' be four? Does it yearn f' fiveness? Or maybe it really, deep down, wants t' be two an' two again?" Remy looked thoughtful.

Cyclops glared. "Now you're just getting ridiculous."

"Unless you go quantum, where I can say that two and two equal infinity. But only because I define quantum as a good score in scrabble." Vedis was grinning at the snowball she'd started.

Remy sighed. "There's an easy way t' solve dis." He grabbed Cannonball, Iceman, Wolverine and Joseph and squashed them into a corner. "Now, you can be defined as a four. But do y' feel like a four, or a group of independent ones?" They separated as quickly as possible.

"One."

"Definitely one." There were nods from the other members of the group of one+one+one+one.

"Dere. De only number dat dis group is ever gonna make is at most a two. Two two's an y' start havin' fights."

Jean looked pensive. "I have something that is true no matter how you look at it."

Scott smiled at his wife. She was so smart. "What is it, dear?"

"Well, it's more on the nature of one and one than two and two, but still always true."

"Oh? What do one and one make?" Vedis looked genuinely fascinated.

Jean smiled. "Usually two. But in our case, it makes four. I'm equally pregnant with twins no matter how you look at it."

Vedis frowned as she considered that. She looked up as there was a thump.

"Wow. Scott fainted," Iceman observed to no one in particular.

Jean looked guilty. "I suppose I should have picked a better time to tell him, but I really wanted to add something to the conversation."

"Oh, you did." Vedis looked at the prone body on her carpet. "I liked it." She smiled at Jean in a much more friendly fashion. "Your first?"

"That I've actually been pregnant with? Yeah." Jean smiled a bit nervously. Vedis smirked. "You're not going to give me heaps of advice or tell me gruesome details or anything?" Jean frowned as Vedis shook her head and widened her smirk another notch.

"If y' want horror stories, I tell y' some."

That got a response. "She doesn't need that type of story, Remy. It's much more kind to let her expectations of support from male friends be crushed later. The illusions are comforting for a while."

He turned to look at all the assembled X-Men, a dramatic pleading expression on his face. "Get out while y' can! It de hormones, makes dem evil, evil I tell you. Take de pets, no male is safe!"

Vedis smiled. "Cut it out, I wasn't that bad." Then she frowned, and gave him an uncertain look. "Was I?"

"Worse. De only t'ing dat keep me from taking Eddie an' heading f' de hills was de knowledge dat what you do when you catch up wit' me would be nastier, an' probably more permanent."

"Really? I thought I was being fairly reasonable. Okay, I was a bit moody when I turned into a beached whale…"

The look Remy was giving her was flat and unforgiving. "Moody people don' do t'ings like dat t' innocent bits of furniture."

"What bits of… oh, now I remember." She looked a little sheepish. "But I only did that once. And considering that the only pace I could manage was 'waddle', I don't think you were in any danger."

Remy looked hurt. "You're a dangerous woman, chere. I lived in constant' fear f 'my meager life."

Vedis clasped her hands behind her back and looked down at one toe scuffing on the carpet, the picture of contrition. "I'm sorry, Remy," she said in a pathetically tiny voice.

He laughed at her obviously fake regret. "Dat's okay. I took comfort in your pain an' inconvenience. An' privately laughed at de way y' looked like a little elephant when y' walked."

She tried to glare at him, but the dimple in her right cheek kept appearing and ruining the effect.

"There. Now that's what I'm talking about." Beast gestured at Vedis and Remy, who looked mystified. "That's an honest friendship. Forget sordid tales of past misdeeds, if you can tell her that she looked like an elephant and be able to laugh about it…"

There was a moment of slightly awkward silence, then Storm decided to take over as leader now that Cyclops was incapacitated. "We will go now, we have intruded long enough." She gave the man who had once been such a close friend a long look, and gently touched his cheek with one hand. "Farewell." She turned to leave.

"Uh, Storm?"

"Yes Rogue?"

"Ah'd like to say somethin' before Ah go." She stepped forwards and took a deep breath. "Remy?" He turned a little to the side so that he wouldn't have to look her in the eye, but she took another few steps and pulled gently on his arm to make him turn back. "For what it's worth, Ah'm sorry. When Ah calmed down, Ah saw all your memories, and Ah think ah understand a little more why you did why you did. Ah can't forgive ya, but Ah understand. And it's not my place t' judge."

"I never wanted forgiveness, chere. Jus' a chance t' do something good, show dat I could be better. Maybe I was jus' trying t' find some way t' save my soul. But it means a lot t' me. T'ank you."

She gave him a slightly teary smile and squeezed his hand before turning away.

"Hold on." Vedis ran out of the room, returning a few seconds later with Marie. "Say goodbye, hon. They're leaving now."

"Bye." She waved and hugged Remy's leg with her other arm. Remy patted her hair and smiled at her. Then she looked up at Rogue and frowned. "Why are you cwying?"

"Because Ah always wanted a little girl like you, but it's nevah gonna happen."

"Never say never. 'S a loooooooooong time. Wanna hug? Always makes me better when I'm sad."

Rogue managed a trembly smile. "Ah'd love one. Just be careful not to touch mah bare skin, sweetie." Jean would make sure nothing happened.

Rogue wasn't used to hugging children, and she was a little awkward at first. But Marie was an expert, being one of the most hugged, kissed, snuggled, picked up and doted-on little girls in the city. And she took after her mother, being a very tactile and affectionate person without Vedis' ingrained wariness. Rogue knelt there for a long minute trying to indelibly inscribe the experience into her memory, feeling that her chance of it being repeated anytime soon were slim to none. In the end, Marie pulled back and looked at her inquiringly.

"Wogue?"

"Y-yes?"

"Will you be my aunty?"

Rogue froze in shock. What did she mean by that? But Marie continued, oblivious to the assorted reactions of the adults around her.

"I only got two aunties, but I got lotsa uncles." She spread her hands as far apart as they would go to signify how many uncles. There were a few sighs of understanding and released tension.

Rogue looked at Vedis who, with a few eloquent gestures and facial expressions managed to say 'I don't mind, up to you.' Which destroyed Rogue's hope of an easy answer and left her on her own to make the decision. On the one hand, she would be intruding on Remy's life, a place she no longer had any right to be. On the other, she would be intruding back into Remy's life. There was a certain risky charm in that. But she was also fairly sure that neither Marie's mother or her live-in uncle would tolerate anyone trifling with the little girl's affections. It would probably be best to avoid such a complicated entanglement.

"If ya really want me to." Where on earth had that come from?

"Goody!" Marie bounced in excitement and gave Rogue another enthusiastic hug. She shot a guilty look at Remy but he was looking at something else, his face impossible to read.

"Rogue? I've known Scott since I was fifteen. Trust me, we should go before he wakes up."

"Okay Bobby." Reluctantly, she left with the others.

The door shut and Remy nearly fell into his seat, sighing and muttering in French.

"Are you okay, Remy?"

"Oh yeah, jus' great. Y' t'ink you've gotten somewhere, dat you don' care so much anymore, and den de world t'rows it back in your face an' you remember you've been lying t' yourself. Jus' leave me alone for a while." Vedis squeezed his shoulder and took Marie quietly back to bed.

"Rogue, you've got mail."

She took the letter and looked at it curiously. The handwriting was unfamiliar, but the envelope was rather fat. One way to find out. She opened it up and tipped out the contents, which turned out to be a large, folded piece of paper. Rogue opened it out, revealing a brightly coloured child's painting of a landscape. There were a few identical and impossibly green hills, red and yellow flowers, fluffy white clouds in an blue sky and a black-and-white cat in the foreground. At least she assumed it was a cat, it could possibly have been a very strange cow. In the top left corner was torturously written 'TO Aunt Rogue', while the bottom right revealed that the artist was one Marie Belladonna Adamson. She noted vaguely that the a's were written the wrong way around. One would have thought that a child with so many of them in her name would have realised. Then Aunt Rogue noticed the small white square of paper stapled next to the name. Unfolded, it held a short message written in a much more adult hand.

Rogue,

We need to talk without Remy or the endless X-Men. Top of the Empire State, sunset Saturday. And I mean the TOP, not where the tourists go.

Julia.

Which gave Rogue two days to think about it.

She solved the problem of explaining where she was going by hopping out the window without telling anyone. She wasn't wearing her uniform either, this was not X-Men business. But she naturally avoided skirts. There were very few ways to fly in a dignified manner while trying to avoid flashing half the city.

When she arrived, the clouds were beginning to go pink, and lights were going on all over the city. Vedis was sitting on a ledge staring at the western sky. The strong wind had blown strands of black hair out of its braid, and they danced around her perfect little face. They were the only part of her that moved as Rogue settled down next to her.

"You're the one who came in mah window that night and showed me what Remy was doin', aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Is Julia what you really call yourself?"

Then she did turn, and smiled slightly. "No. I call myself Vedis, you can too if you want. Do you call yourself Rogue?"

"Yes, Ah do."

"Presumably that's not what you were christened. Is there any particular reason why you don't use that name anymore?"

"Ah'm not that person anymore. Why should Ah use her name?"

Vedis shrugged. "Fair enough. Any other questions you want to ask?"

"Yes." Rogue turned so that she was facing Vedis and looked into those dark blue eyes. "While we're talking 'bout names, Ah noticed Marie's on the painting. Ah must admit, the middle name was a bit of a surprise. A blast from the past, ya might say." She paused and took a few deep breaths while Vedis waited patiently for her to continue. "What Ah'm tryin' to ask here is whether Remy is her father. He obviously had a hand in namin' her."

"No, Remy isn't her father, although he did suggest both her names. I picked Marie because I liked the sound and Belladonna because he asked me to. I'm not sure why, but I got the feeeling I should be flattered. " She gave Rogue an understanding look while a tiny smile of amusement crept across her face. "But that wasn't your whole question, was it?"

Rogue blushed. "No. Ah wondered… you an' Remy live in the same house, did you ever have a romantic relationship? You don't have to answer, but Ah'd like ta know."

The smile was gone, but her voice was still soft. "And I suppose you want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God? No matter what you hear?"

Rogue set her shoulders with determination. "Yes, Ah do."

Vedis smiled fleetingly. "Thought so." Then she sighed, and went back to looking at the sunset. "So I'm not going to pretty anything up for you. The plain, brutal truth is that Remy is a slut. And although I've never fallen in love, I haven't been exactly celibate either. We've never had a romantic relationship, he's totally in love with you, and I'm not that type of girl. But we did sleep together once. He was an emotionally all over the place, and I was two months pregnant. I also had… other problems. We were using each other. Any halfway attractive person would have done just as well, we were just who happened to be handy. It's not exactly something either of us is proud of, but it doesn't really matter because it didn't mean anything. Does that bother you?"

Rogue thought about it. Admittedly, it wasn't an area she had a lot of practical experience in, but with Remy's memories she thought she had a pretty good knowledge of the theory. And from those same memories she knew that Vedis had been telling the unadorned truth. He was a slut, and cheerfully admitted it. "Kinda, but I'll manage. But Ah must admit…" She smiled conspiratorially.

Vedis raised one eyebrow enquiringly, restraining a smile of her own. "Oh?"

"Ah'm a little jealous."

Vedis laughed. "Rogue darling, I'd say you weren't missing much, but I'd be lying. Just between us? If I was you, I'd look for a way to control those powers."

"Ah did have a way, but Ah lost it when Operation: Zero Tolerance went through. Joseph hasn't been able to make another one that works."

Vedis suddenly smacked the heel of one hand against her forehead. "Why didn't I remember about that? I must be getting forgetful in my old age." She stood up and reached into the pocket of her jeans. She produced a tiny velvet box. "Here, I'd like to see this put to good use." She opened the box and pulled out a small rectangle of metal. "I don't know exactly how it works, but it emits some field that controls mutant powers. We just have to find a safe place to put it. I had it implanted in my arm, but I wouldn't recommend that."

"How about…" Rogue reached inside her shirt and pulled out the antique locket that Kurt and Piotr had given her last Christmas.

"Is it solid silver?"

"Yes."

"Perfect!"

Vedis slipped in the tiny chip. It looked strange compared to the beautiful, old piece of jewelry. Rogue snapped it shut, then had a sudden thought.

"How do Ah get down?"

"Oh, it won't work until you turn it on. Here." She handed Rogue the box. A little matte black square was still there, with a red switch and carefully marked on and off positions.

"Are ya sure it'll work?"

Vedis glared at an innocent building. "It worked on me well enough." Then she sighed and turned back. "Try it out."

Rogue put her thumb on the switch, then glanced down. "Promise to catch me if Ah fall?"

"Promise." Vedis reached out a hand.

One flick of her fingernail, and it was turned on. Hesitantly, she reached out and took the offered hand. Nothing happened. They both laughed and sat down again, still holding hands and watched the red sky for a while.

Rogue sighed. "Thank you, but you know this isn't just going to fix everything between me an' Remy."

Vedis shrugged. "I know. I can't really help you much there, I think you kinda have to sort that out for yourselves. But Rems isn't the only person worth touching in the world. Have some fun with it." She grinned. "Turn it off for a second." Rogue did, looking a little puzzled. "Now come up here." They climbed to the highest point and stood back to back looking out at the city spread out at their feet. "I did this a few years ago, it's great. Repeat after me."

"Okay."

"Hey world, this is me taking back my life."

"Hey world, this is me takin' back mah life."

"…Ah promise ta flirt, have fun and do whatever Ah damnwell please. Ah will not get embarrassed or worry, and mah love-life not be synonymous with pain-in-the-ass." Rogue giggled as she turned on her new present and skipped up the mansion's front path. Life was very good. She almost resisted the urge to sing, but then remembered that she had sworn to do whatever she felt like and not get embarrassed about it. The day before, she might have decided against the country song. Now, she was high on happiness, and didn't care what anybody thought of her.

"Am Ah dreamin', or stupid,

Ah think Ah've been hit by you-ou, babe,

But no one needs to know, right now.

Ah met a tall, dark and handsome man,

And Ah've been busy makin' bi-ig plans,

But no one needs to know, right now.

Ah've got my heart set, my feet wet,

But he don't even kno-ow yet,

But no one needs to know, right now.

Ah'll tell him someday, someway, somehow.

But I'm gonna ke-eep it a se-ecret for no-ow."

Rogue let herself in the front door, and because she felt like it, continued to sing. She sang loud, and thought she was doing rather well.

"Ah want bells to ring, a choir to sing…"

"Gee, you're in a good mood."

Rogue spun around, her eyes bright. "Quick, Sam, get all the X-Men together. Ah know a way ta find out if Joseph has any lingerin' bits of Magneto left." He was giving her a funny look, but it didn't matter. "Tell me when you're ready, Ah gotta get somethin' from mah room." She dashed upstairs, leaving Cannonball to contact all their teammates. She shut the door, flopped onto the bed an buried her head under a pillow to muffle the giggles. She idly wondered if she was hysterical, but didn't mind all that much. She was having fun.

She could hear voices, and knew that everyone who was coming would be present soon. She went to the mirror, straightened her clothes and her hair, and began to work on the ear-to-ear grin. That would have to go, she wanted them to take her seriously. Deep breaths. This is a serious business. If he does have Magnetoisms, that would create a serious dilemma for the team. But now we can know without any traumatic psychic scans, going straight to Mr Reflex Reaction. Her face was calm, but slightly happy. Of course she should be. This would be a easy solution to a problem which had been hanging in the background for years. Another calming breath as she picked up the little box and Wolverine bellowed from downstairs. She took confident, unhurried steps down to meet the others, and ignored their questions until they reached the War Room.

"Okay, Rogue, what is this amazing discovery you told Sam about?"

Rogue stood up in front of them, and put the little box on the table. "Scott, don't touch it." He pulled his hand back. "Now, we all know that we've all worried about Joseph. Could bits of Magneto's personality be hiding in his skull somewhere? We could nevah be sure." Joseph looked uncomfortable. "But now we can. Ah have a way to see how similar they are, and if the Magneto Ah knew is still in there. Don't worry, Ah'm not going ta use mah powers on ya, and no telepath in gonna set one little tootsie in your head." Joseph looked slightly relieved. But he still came rather reluctantly when she crooked a finger commandingly at him. When he was standing right next to her, she gave him a small smile. "Don't worry, it won't hurt. Ah promise."

"I trust you, Rogue."

She smiled some more. "How nice. Then shut your eyes." He did. By this point the X-Men were watching with avid interest. There wasn't a sound. Then with a smile she jumped, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him the kiss of a lifetime.

Whatever Joseph had been expecting, that certainly wasn't it. As she'd planned, she caught him totally by surprise and he'd had no time at all to think about his reactions. His eyes opened in shock, and he only just caught her, nearly overbalancing. Then he realised that her powers were obviously not working, and started enjoying himself. But soon the comments and whistles from the other superheroes in the room made Rogue decide to stop. She pulled away, a careful mask of professional contemplation on her face.

"Well, there are similarities, and some differences." That created a mild stir, and Rogue grinned. A girl could get up to all sorts of things in the Savage Land. "Ah won't go inta detail, but mah best guess is that you," she pointed at a still slightly confused Joseph, "are what Maggie woulda been like if he hadn't had all the nasty stuff happen to him. He could be real nice if he tried, and I like you, so that can't be a bad thing." She rounded on the sniggering/stunned X-Men. "What're y'all starin' at?"

Cyclops cleared his throat a few times, as if he knew he should say something and couldn't figure out what it might be. "Uhm, Rogue, are you sure…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

"Well, if you really want to be sure…" She held it for a moment, letting the tension build. "Ya could call Generation X and get them to send Emma over for a second opinion!" She winked at Joseph, grabbed her box, and make her exit.

"Y' did what?" Remy smiled pleasantly and tried to keep his tone conversational. Raven tried to stifle her laughter.

"I gave her the thingy and told her to go have fun. You know, touch stuff." Vedis looked very pleased with herself. She was smiling like the Cheshire cat.

"Stuff as in people?"

"Of course. Probably lots of people. Like I said… what did I say? Oh yes. 'Remy isn't the only person worth touching, you know.' Or something like that. I mean really, what's life without a little fun and variety?"

Mystique stopped trying. Remy nodded understandingly and looked over to where Marie was trying to eavesdrop without being noticed. "Marie? Would y' mind goin' into de kitchen for a minute? I 'ave t' kill y' only known relative."

Vedis looked hurt, then martyred. "You'll thank me one day."

"Maybe. But not t'day."

And the chase was on. Marie giggled and ran back into the room. She loved it when her mother and Uncle Remy played, they were always so fun.

"I t'ought I told you t' stay in dere!"

Marie laughed and tried to run away, but only got about three steps before strong arms grabbed her from behind.

"Y' know what we did to bad children in de T'ieves Guild, non?"

"No." Marie squirmed, trying to get loose. She never did, it was just part of the game.

"We tickled dem!"

"You must have had a very happy childhood," Raven observed.

Remy finished tickling Marie and casually tucked her under one arm upside-down. "Suppose I did. Dere may be no honour among t'ieves, but dey love deir children. Now, we better take dis one to bed."

"Only if you wead me some more stowy." Marie knew she was in no position to bargain, but it was worth a try.

"What? You're not sick of that book yet?"

"Nope."

"Okay. A bit more."

"Will you make y'self look like the people, an' do the voices?" Marie looked appealingly at her mother and Raven.

"Do I have to?" Vedis didn't sound that enthusiastic.

"What a story wit'out voices, chere?"

Vedis looked horrified. "You mean you're going to make me do it for the entire book?"

"Why not?"

"It's 'The Lord of the Rings'! It'll take months."

"You'll be able to perfect dat Gandalf voice, den."