Gambit’s Catastrophe - REVIEW THIS STORY

Written by Jacque Koh
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 1

Morning. He's suppose to be up for the danger room session, but Gambit just yawns as he stretches in bed and snuggles deeper into the bed covers. He never liked mornings, it was no secret that this X-Man preferred to hibernate until noon.

He was going to especially hate *this* particular morning.

"Eew, what cha ya think ya doin' ya mangy critter?!"

Gambit went from a half doze to full wakefulness, when he felt a hand grip him about the back of his neck and hoist him off the bed.

"How did ya get in the house? An' how dare ya sleep in *his* bed?!"

<Wha?>

Before he knew it, Remy found himself carried out of the men's wing of the mansion and heading towards the front door.

"Out! Rotten - Mangy - " Rogue sounded as if she was trying to choke back her tears as she opened the front door.

#Rogue - chere? What did Gambit do t' you?#

"Remy?! Remy, where - where are ya?" Rogue swung around in confusion, inevitably also swinging him around the room as she still held him by the back his neck.

#What do y' mean, you're - ?#

Rogue stared at the hall mirror, and at the reflection of the black cat with red on black eyes which she was holding in her right hand.

On that bright sunny morning, twin shrieks resounded in the mansion, one vocal, one telepathic. The cacophony was enough to bring all the X-Men racing to the foyer.

"Rogue! Child, are you all right? What is it? Who was that - that other voice?"

Rogue couldn't answer as she sat on the floor staring at the hall mirror, in front of which stood an adolescent, black cat. A cat whose paws rested on the mirror's surface as it stared into it's own red on black eyes.

"Re - Remy?" she pointed her hand shakily at the cat.

Storm stared from the southern belle to the cat, "Y - you must be mistaken, child. This - this - Remy?"

Before more could be said, Scott appeared at the door closely followed by Jean.

"What's the situation? Rogue, what happe-"

In a lightning move, the black cat turned away from the mirror to launched itself into the air and land on the blue team leader's chest.

#SCOTT! What de hell happened on dat last mission?!!#

"G-g-ga-Gambit?" Scott reeled back against the door frame, as the X-Men's jaws collectively dropped at the revelation.

#Oui! Cest moi. I become a telepathic cat; a C - A - T, Cat! What de hell happened t' me?!#

Scott hissed, as four sets of claws dug through his shirt to stop the cat from slipping off his chest.

"G - Gambit, Rem - Remy, ca - calm down. You're understandably distraught-"

#Distraught?#

Scott winced under him.

#Oui, how you guess? Is my tail wagging?#

"Remy, er ... please ... let's move this to the kitchen, sit down-"

"Have a bowl of milk."

#Arrraaaghh!#

"Ow, ow, OW! Gambit! Your claws, your claws! OOOOOW!"

Jean shot an angry look at Bobby who raised his hands with a helpless shrug, his face was red as he tried hard not to laugh.

"Hey, a cup of coffee didn't seem too appropriate."

Even Storm was looking strained, while Bishop stared at the spectacle with an expression of disbelief.

"Remy, please calm down. We are not going to accomplish anything, standing here watching you scratch Scott to bits."

"Remy, sugah? It'll be okay, we'll figure out something." Rogue reached up to grip him under his arms, and eased him off Scott's chest, "Let go of Scottie?"

#I'm a - telepathic - black - cat? How did dis happen?#

With that last thought, most of the X-Men disappeared into the kitchen with Gambit, while the Beast guided Scott towards the infirmary.

"What an astonishing development. This really is a fascinating turn of events."

"Oooow."

"I'm sure Remy will buy you a new shirt once he calms down." Jean offered as she took her husband's other arm.

"This can't be happening? It's - it's just - this is too *weird* even for the X-Men."

"On the contrary, O' fearless leader. Weirdness is a vital component in the life of an X-Men. But I digress. To the infirmary first Scott, I had better give you a tetanus shot. We don't know what Remy's claws were last in."

"OoW, those things *hurt*."

"Don't be a baby, dear. It's for your own good."

The X-Men couldn't help but stare at the black cat as it lapped at the bowl of milk on the kitchen table. For what it was worth, Gambit was a rather handsome, sleek black cat, with red highlights to his short coat, and red tipped ears.

It had obviously taken a lot of effort, but he was no longer hysterical over his recent transformation. Though, it did appeared as if he had descended into shock as he numbly lapped at the milk.

Storm nodded towards Scott, Jean and Hank, as they returned from the infirmary.

"Now then, let us recap what transpired on the previous mission." Storm turned to glare briefly at certain members of the assemblage who appeared to be fighting down laughter.

Scott gingerly took a seat.

"Tetanus shot in the butt? Those things *hurt*." Bobby nodded to him sympathetically.

Scott rolled his eyes before he began his recital of the mission log ...

"... We were ambushed by Sinister when we were investigating a rumored base."

#Oui, Gambit remembered dat.#

"You were in front of me then-"

"Speed it up Slim. We 'member all of that. Up until Sinister brought the roof down on us."

"We couldn't find ya when we dug ourselves out, Remy."

"It was our thought, that Sinister had used the base as a lure to capture one of us."

Jean reached out to give Scott's hand a reassuring squeeze.

#Only, Scottie's still here.#

"But how did *you* get back here, Remy? What happened to you?"

#It's - it's - fuzzy. Gambit remember waking up in de hanger - #

"See, I told ya I smelled a cat." Logan sounded rather smug, "Gumbo must have been sleeping in one of those crates we brought back from Sinister's lab."

#But when did I become a cat? *How* did I become a cat?#

All eyes turned towards Hank who was looking rather bewildered.

"How should I know? Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a psychic!"

The X-men collectively groaned.

"Seriously, though Remy, I haven't seen anything in your mutant physiology which remotely indicates an ability to morph into an animal. Not that that's impossible, perhaps a visit to my lab-"

#What y' starin' at, Joseph?# Gambit cut the beast off abruptly, to glare at the white-haired X-Man, who had been staring intently at him through the whole conversation.

"Nothing - literally. Remy? Did you notice, that you've been neutered?"

The black cat visibly stiffened.

"Does that say anything about your human body?" Bobby squeaked, as he started to lose it.

Bobby just didn't have the strength to hold it back any longer. A snort slipped out, and before he could control it he was laughing. This was understandably infectious and within minutes the rest of the X-Men joined in, unable to stop themselves.

A low hum started unheard amidst all the laughter.

#Dis is NOT funny!#

A series of kinetic explosions threw Bobby away from the table. The laughter died immediately as everyone leaped to their feet.

Bobby picked himself off the floor shakily, his hands reached for the missing buttons of his jacket.

"How - ? You weren't touching-"

But Gambit was no longer on the table.

"Cajun, come down. Cyke has the whole team looking fer yer." Wolverine climbed up the tree, "We're all worried about yer."

#Go away.#

"Gumbo, we know yer upset -"

#Upset? Upset?! Of course I'm upset! Gambit is a CAT! What is dere not t' be upset about? I'm a telepathic, mutant, black, cat, a 'T - M - B - C!' I could probably have my own cartoon.# Remy was trying hard not to cry, but he wasn't succeeding.

Wolverine continued climbing towards the pair of red on black eyes, which gleamed at him from the higher branches.

"Cajun, I'm not going away, I know I'm not 'zactly yer first choice of people to talk ta, but talk ta me. Yer not upset cause yer a cat. Got somethin' else yer ain't told us."

Silence.

"Well if it'll make yer feel better, we talked about it and figured out that that's probably not yer real body."

Logan waited, and his patience was finally rewarded.

#Gambit guessed as much, but it also mean Sinister got his real body. What if - what if Gambit, can' get his body back?#

"Then we'll make Sinister clone yer a new one."

#Maybe he not able t'?#

"What cha sayin' Gumbo?"

Silence enveloped them again.

"Gumbo?"

#Gambit ... was one of Sinister's experiments once.#

"What?! What did the bastard do ta yer? Why didn't yer tell us?"

Logan waited, but the black cat had its eyes closed.

"Kid, we don't know what yer did in yer past, maybe Sinister was part of that past for a spell, but that's yer own business. We know yer for what yer are now, Gumbo, and yer're family. Yer don't have ta hide from us."

"Look, I won't tell the others. And I'll even sneak yer back ta look in on the fun, kid. They're all crawling on hands and knees around the house looking fer yer. Let us help yer deal with this, okay?"

#Okay ... Er - Logan?#

"Yeah?"

#Can y' come up an' get me? Gambit climbed too high, and he not sure if he know how t' get down.#

Wolverine sighed as he gingerly made his way up the higher branches, "I'm coming Cajun. Hang in there."

#Ha - Ha. Dat is t' laugh.#

"Yer *had* to climb this high didn't yer?" Wolverine gently reached up towards the nervous cat, "If I fall Gumbo, I'm leavin' yer up here fer Jeannie."

But that indignity was avoided, as Wolverine managed to get his hand around the lithe black cat. Wolverine cradled him in the crook of one hand, as he climbed back down.

"Well, we can say one thing, Gumbo. At least we don't got ta worry about yer if a randy female comes by - Ow! Watch the claws! I ain't down yet!"

#Merde, dat would be embarrassing.#

"Having a litter of kittens, Gumbo?" Wolverine guffawed as he landed on solid ground, "I'm sure Rogue would understan- Ooow! Okay, okay! I'll stop teasing yer."

#Y' know Logan, I think I understand how much fun having claws is now.#

- Shnik -

"Eat yer heart out, Gumbo. Mine are longer." Wolverine admired his foot long claws.

#Ahh, but Gambit has *four* sets o' claws.#