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Chapter 1

How Gambit Got His Monthly ... - REVIEW THIS STORY

Written by RV Bemis
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 1

Enter nifty music: duh duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh

This is the plantiff, Remy LeBeau, aka the Gambit. He claims that Marvel Comics ruined his character by giving him a cheesey deep deep dark dark deep dark secret that he never had before the Bachalo run in the X-Men. He claims this stupid thing led to the general degregation of his character, and led to horrible issue, aka Uncanny X-Men #350, better known as "The Trial of Gambit" He's suing for his own monthly title with a REAL writer.

<typing noise> Plantiff: Remy LeBeau

Complaint: Defamation of character by libel

Suing for: Own Monthly Series

Nifty Music again: duh duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh

This is the defendant, Marvel Comics. They claim they can do whatever they want with Gambit, because they own him and have the creative rights to do as they please. They're accused of ruining a fan favorite.

<typing noise> Defendant: Marvel comics

Accused of: Attempting to be creative

These people are not actors, with the exception of Gambit, they are real. They have agreed to set aside their lawsuits and have their case settled here, in our forum: THE PEOPLE'S COURT.

Judge Ed Koch residing: Mr. LeBeau, you claim that you were a kick-arse, happy-go-lucky thief with no shady past until the Chris Bachalo era of the X-Men run. Tell me the story.

Gambit: Your honor, mon ami. When I was introduced in Uncanny X-Men #266, I had no worries. I was a happy lil' tief in N'awlins, stealin' and lovin' and stuff. I had nuting to hide. And den, de creative team at Marvel decided to ruin my character wid a dumb secret.

Ed Koch: That secret being?

Gambit: Dey decided to make me de man who assembled de Marauders for Mr. Sinister.

Ed Koch: So how did they first bring this secret out?

Gambit: Dey had me flirtin' wid ma cherie, Rogue, who has de ability to strip memories with flesh contact. Now, if dis es a secret I'm 'posed to be hidin' - why would I be tryin' to get wid' de woman who could so easily find out by just touchin me? Es bad form, no?

Ed Koch: And when did they have the two of you make flesh contact?

Gambit: in X-Men #41, before de crystal wave dat hit and started de "Age o' Apocalypse", Rogue kissed me. Dat girl, for not havin' much 'xperience sure packs a wallop of a smooch, non?

Ed Koch: And what has happened since?

Gambit: Everyting is different. Dey made me an angstin' pup wid lovesick eyes wishing I hadn't done what I did in de past dat never should have happened. And den it ended wid me gettin' dumped in Antarctica, makin' me de subject of controversy and fanfics, like that punk who said it was all about PEZ. Once I get dat I guy I show him de power of my PEZ...

Ed Koch: And you are suing for your own monthly series?

Gambit: Seems de least dey could do. I mean, dey gave ones to Maverick and Quicksilver and dem guys are third-raters on deir best days. Wid dem and de inconsistencies dey gave me, at least dey could clear it up in my own book.

Ed Koch: Talk to me Marvel Folks.

Marvel Dudes: We own Gambit, we had the right to do whatever creative thing we wanted.

Ed Koch: But there seems to be inconsistencies in character. I mean, having read the books, I see he was a happy guy, and then they made him angsting around the time of the 'secret'. Why the change.

Marvel Dudes: Because we can do whatever the hell we want...

Ed Koch: But if he saw so many people die, how could he become so happy so quick? And if this was the big big secret, why would he go after someone who could so easily find out?

Marvel Dudes: Again, our creative teams may do what they like.

Gambit: Dey don' do deir homework too well, huh?

Marvel Dudes: What do you mean?

Gambit: Like de fact my wife DIED in X-Men #8 when I was wid de team. But s'posedly I led the Marauders after her death while I wasn't wid de X-Men. 'Xplain dat, huh?

Marvel Dudes: We have to retcon that, we just need a decent story. Given time, I'm sure Joe Kelly will come up with something.

Ed Koch: So why don't you give this popular character his own monthly title?

Marvel Dudes: We're like in Chapter 11 right now...

Ed Koch: And yet you gave losers like Maverick their own titles? Geez, you'd think you'd want to get out of debt, not make more by making titles that don't sell very well.

Marvel Dudes: Our creative choice. We LIKE Quicksilver. He's just sooooooo cool, I mean, he's not just a cheap Flash clone...

Ed Koch: I've heard enough... I'll take a short recess and be back with my decision.

<Announcer Guy> Was the plantiff libeled, or is he just cryin over creative milk? Judge Koch makes his decision.

Judge Koch: Going over everything, Marvel does have the creative power to do as they like. BUT, the inconcistant way they have portrayed Mr. LeBeau goes against what was intended. I find that the whole dark secret plot was contrived, and that it never should have happened. Marvel, you have ruined a great character. I find for the plantiff, you will give him his own monthly title, and FABIAN NICEZIA will be the writer. Got that? This case is closed. <Bangs gavel>

<Announcer Dude> So the plantiff will get his own title, how do you feel about that Marvel Personnel?

Marvel Dudes: Damn! There's a lot of money to be made in this. Perhaps we should have given Gambit his own title sooner... oh, the case. Oh well.

<Announcer Dude> go sign the papers. Gambit, you won. Any words?

Gambit: Yeah. I'm glad dat dis has been settled, and dat I'll be gettin' my own book now. Lookin' forward to it. Mon ami, Marvel has to make amends for de bad story-lines dey wrote for me. Fabian ought to correct dat.

<Announcer Dude> Well said, go sign the papers. And remember folks, there are libel laws to protect you. So don't take the law into your own hands, you take them to court. The People's Court.


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