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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3


Written by Vicki Lew
Last updated: 01/02/2007 02:01:11 AM

Chapter 1

Midnight found him in a steaming shower stall, jets of soothing hot water streaming down his naked body. They did anything but to soothe the turmoil in his heart, his soul. Remy LeBeau settled wearily onto the wide ledge built into the wall opposite the shower head, and just sat there, trying to recover from the nightmare he had just experienced. Not even the luxurious beauty of his hotel suite could cover the ugliness in him; this had all been a poor attempt.

The dream replayed itself over and over in his mind whenever he shut his eyes. The dream, or rather, nightmare, where he was surrounded by all those whom had ever joined the ranks of the X-men, pointing their fingers accusingly at him. Leading the gathering each time would be Rogue, railing at him, telling him how much she hated him for the vile crime he had committed. Then the Morlocks would come, their rotting bodies and all, slowly plummeting him to death. But it was always Rogue, always her, who would end the ordeal by sprouting the claws of Sabretooth all of a sudden, then gutting him from stomach to throat.

A sob tore through his throat and his tears sprung forth to mingle with the flow of water. He was a broken man. All he had worked towards gone; even the one chance at true love had slipped through his fingers. No home, no love, no comfort.

No Rogue.

Remy felt as if his head were about to burst. Why wouldn't his heart just stop beating, or his blood stop flowing? He swallowed another mouthful of vodka, forcing himself to forget. His body shook with desperate tears as the alcohol clouded his already numb mind, coaxing him into troubled stupor.

She jerked awake as the cab shook after it went over a huge bump in the road. The gazed out of the misty window and watched the tiny flakes of snow drift pass.

"We're in Manhattan now, Miss. Maybe in another half hour or so, we'll be at the Agee Institute," the cabby informed his passenger.

"Right. Thank ya," she mumbled.

Rogue didn't rightfully know what she looked to find there anyway. She just wanted to get away from the X-men, whom she felt had slightly betrayed her. Storm's accusing look made all those years of being an X-woman and doing justice seem so...fruitless. Almost as if they had all tolerated her presence since she came to Xavier begging for help, because she was a terrorist, a villain; never truly forgiven for what she had done.

All along she had considered herself the most lonely person in the world, even during her time with the X-men. Now she realized that she was wrong. Back then in happier times, she had the X-men, her foster family...And Remy.

She'd been too busy pining over her curse, overlooking the good things that she already possessed. But now? Her selfishness had caused her to lose the man she loved, and her best friend, Storm, didn't believe her. She didn't know anyone else from outside the X-men that would welcome her with open arms. She was truly alone this time, and it hurt so much.

Was this how Remy felt?

"Oh sugar..." she whispered, her voice full of unshed tears of remorse.

"Bloody hell!!" the cabby exclaimed as he swerved the vehicle just enough to avoid hitting a man crossing the road blindly. "Bastards just don't care, do they?!?"

Ignoring the man's cursing, Rogue found herself staring in disbelief at the dark figure, now walking slowly down the pavement, towards a hotel. Quickly, she rubbed her sleeve against the window, clearing the mist and peered out again.

Her heart stopped beating.

"Stop the car! Stop!"

The cabby put on the brakes and turned back to face her.

"What's wrong, Miss?" he questioned.

"Ah...Ah need t'find someone; ah'm be stoppin' off here..." she slapped the money and left a big tip in the man's hand, and grabbed her bags. Slowly, she got out of the yellow vehicle and watched it drive off.

The cars cruised past her as she stood there, as she had been for the past half hour, the glaring headlights outlining her lithesome body. It was freezing out in front of the towering New York Vista hotel, but she hardly felt it, save for the occasional icy tingle on her windblown cheeks, thanks to her invulnerability.

It was Remy. She just knew it. After stopping off, she had kept a long distance away, watched as he disappeared into the front doors of the New York Vista hotel. Right now, all she wanted to do was to tell Remy how sorry she was, to make amends, and tell him that she loved him...She knew that now. But she was slightly afraid at how he might accept this.

Would he be angry, and refuse to pick up the pieces of their shattered relationship? How could she ever forgive herself, ever love again if that occurred?

She could've located Remy earlier, weeks ago, but she hadn't known better then. It was back when she saw everything that had happened as his fault. Never hers. When her selfishness and insecurity hindered her from realizing what a hypocrite she had been. Saying that she loved him but never showing understanding or sacrificing anything for the man. He had been willing to change, to risk his life for her. All she had done was to hurt him by turning her back on him back in the Arctic.

Rogue bit her lip as a silent tear traced a path down her rosy cheek. Her green eyes took in the lights and structure of the grand building. Drying her tears, she finally dared to step into the hotel and approached the counter.


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